NOT THE LIFE I LEFT YOU FOR
by tascha
Summary: NOW COMPLETE! Veronica has started a new life in a new town far away from Neptune. She had married, and she's got a little girl called Riley. But not everything is so perfect as it seems and so she has to go back, face some people from the past... LoVe
1. Chapter 1

**NOT THE LIFE I LEFT YOU FOR**

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I owe nothing: Veronica and most of the characters in this story are from the UPN series 'Veronica Mars' and belong to the responsible creators thereof.

I started this fanfic at work. Yes I am really bored…

I hope you'll like it. If you do please feedback, I need toknow if it's worth to go on with it...

As for my English skills: Uhm I am not English, so if you find any mistakes you can keep them :-)

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Prologue:

„Riley hide, go and hide!" Veronica rushes her little toddler: "Hide so Daddy won't find you!" she hurries her on in her bedroom, opens her closet and puts her inside: "Be calm okay darling, don't say any word please, no matter what happens okay Darling?"

The little girl stars at her with big eyes, not really understanding what is going on. But the sound of her mother's voice is frantic, tells her to better follow these new rules. Veronica nods as if she had realized that her daughter will play the game with her, at least she was hoping her little girl did understand and there wasn't much time left, she already hears his footsteps on the stairs.

She went to her bedroom instantly listening to his heavy breathing, thinking of how awful it would feel, how his breath smells when he'll kiss her. She wanted to puke right here and now. But she had to be brave, strong, for her little girl! Having him kiss her instead of her Riley was much better; having him hit her instead of her daughter as well. She realizes she was shaking and biting her lip nervously and for a brief second she asks herself where that brave girl was, she once had been.

But right then in that moment Thomas, her drunken husband, opened the door, freezing, realizing his wife was still up. "Veronica!" he said thickly approaching her.

Veronica backs away instantly: "Thomas you're drunk! Again…"

The man in front of her just laughs, his green eyes piercing into hers: "A man can drink Veronica, I can drink whenever I want to, and I can kiss you whenever I want to, I can do whatever pleases me, whenever I want to, remember!" he was now standing right in front of her, leaving her – enclosed from the wall and him – no way to escape. He reeks of beer and smoke; she wonders how much he had drunk this evening, this time, how much it needs to turn him into this.

Thomas Arlington was a nice, hardworking man, a loving husband and father. At least he used to be! It was her fault he had changed that much, that he was an alcoholic now, an abusing husband and father. She had destroyed everything, that's what he keeps telling her, that's what she believes, even though that one mistake she had made, had given her more joy than everything else in her life and for nothing in the world she would want to go back in time. She loves her little girl!

Partly she knew that she wasn't responsible for Thomas' drinking problem and she started to hate him for the things he did say to her and to their daughter, for the beating and kicking, the bruises and knobs.

But there was still that other part left in her, the one that loved the man he used to be and wanted him back so badly. There was a part that blamed her, made her feel guilty and responsible for everything he did. She had tried to talk to him at times when he hadn't been drinking, he had often admitted that he has a problem and after a long talk about the reasons he had promised to stop. He had promised they will become the family again they once had been…

But he never stopped, it just got worse as the months, years flew by…

Still Veronica couldn't leave him, wanting to believe him every time he said he'd stop. She had cut down contact to all her former friends who had realized what was going on in her not so faultless home. She didn't like them telling her what she was supposed to do, as she knew that what she was doing was not making any sense, that it was destroying her and that it was bad for Riley as well. But every time she had made up her mind and thought she was ready to leave him, her heart told her otherwise.

But last night he had definitely crossed a line. Now she wouldn't stay any longer, not after what she had seen and she wouldn't let him touch Riley ever again, she wouldn't even let him get close to her… Thinking of the events of the other night she closes her eyes, smelling Thomas breath, feeling it on her face…

_flashback  
She had been thirsty and went down to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Thomas still wasn't at home; at least that's what she believed. When she passed by the room of her daughter she heard his voice though and her daughter crying. Fear shot through her veins and she opened the door to Riley's room without making any noise. She hadn't been able to believe what she saw then, and the things he did... It was horrible, too horrible… He had been all over her, holding her down to the bed, hissing words like bitch and… She didn't even want to recall the words he had used for her daughter. He had slapped her, had touched her, kissed her brutally… A girl of for years, the girl who called him Daddy, how could one do such horrible things to his own daughter!_

Veronica started shivering only by thinking of that night. It had only been yesterday but to see what he had done to Riley was what she needed to finally admit the truth: He would never stop drinking; he would never stop hurting her and especially never stop hurting their daughter!

As she now realized that he never looked at Riley that way, he never accepted her as his daughter even though he had promised her back when she was pregnant. The little girl always remembered him of her mistake, her unfaithfulness…


	2. Chapter 2

Attention, this chapter contains some graphic language and violence!  
Probably Rated NC-17!

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Chapter 01:

He kissed her harshly, his lips crushing hers but there was no passion in it, it was purely brutal and demanding. Veronica tried to push him away but even in his drunken state he was stronger than her. She pleaded him to stop it, she pleaded him to realize what he was doing but he wouldn't want to hear it. Instead he got angrier and even more demanding, pushing her away from the wall and onto the bed. Veronica screamed surprised and fast she rolled away from him, before he had been able to get on top of her.

He growls frustrated: "Bitch!" he hisses at her but she doesn't care, not anymore!

No! She wouldn't let him hurt her any more, she already had paid enough for her mistake and her daughter had paid as well, even though she didn't do anything wrong.

Now pure anger shone from her eyes when she looked at him, and there was pity but she didn't blame herself any longer.

"I hate you and I am going to walk out of this house, I am going to get Riley and we'll leave you all alone here and never look back, you stepped over a line, I pleaded you to stop and you didn't and I hate you, I hate you for what you did to Riley, she's four, FOUR, how am I supposed to explain to her, what you did, she's four years, she didn't do anything wrong, she looks up at you, you're her father, no matter if the DNA matches or not, you're the one she calls Daddy and you should have been satisfied with that, after all my father was, but you, you son of a…!" she didn't finish, she was screaming at him in rage, but she just couldn't say what he had said to her daughter: "You do not deserve to be called Dad from anyone, not even your own kids if you're ever going to have some!" she ends, calmer than before.

Thomas just stood there, staring at her in surprise. He had never seen his wife this angry, this furious. But the surprise didn't hold back the anger that welled up in him and he started to spit out every curse he could remember in his drunken state, he screamed at her, he shouted, she just stood there and looked at him with this pitiful glance.

Calm she turned around grabbed her bag and walked out of the room. But this time Thomas was prepared, he jumped and stumbled over to where she was standing, he pulled her back and hit her hard in the face. "You're staying!" he screamed at her.

Her nose started bleeding but she still looked at him with the same expression on her face: "You won't stop me!" she hissed, glaring at him.

He just hit her again and again but this time Veronica didn't whimper, she didn't let out any sign of pain, she just took everything in, as in self punishment. _"That's what her daughter must have felt like last night"_, she thought and let him hit her again.

Suddenly a small voice disrupted Thomas' actions and he let go of Veronica instantly. He made two steps and his arms were wrapped around the little girl who was standing in the meadow with her little stuffed rabbit in her left hand, clutching it fearfully. Veronica got pale when she saw Thomas with her daughter: "I give you one chance: Let her go or I'll call the police!" she threatens him but it doesn't work.

Thomas laughs: "See your Mommy's pale, she's sick, so we have to go on vacation all by ourselves…" If it was possible for Veronica to get even paler she was sure she did in the moment when Thomas grabbed her bag and walked downstairs with Riley in his arms.

"No, no you can't, you can't take her. She's not yours, Thomas!" she screams after him and stumbles down the stairs, unsteadily from the hits she had received and the fear for her daughter. She gets a hold of him but he just hits her in the stomach, so she stumbles back.

Her head bumps onto the edge of the stairs and everything around her starts to get blurry before she falls into a dead faint…

Thomas doesn't bother; he just looks at her one last time and with Riley still on his arms leaves the house. He takes the car which he found already prepared. He's angry. Veronica had planed this! She had wanted to leave him!

Furious he drove off….


	3. Chapter 3

Hope you like that chapter as well! Even though I am updating so fast today without even getting one review I still would appreciate some, at least one, please g

Chapter 02:

When Veronica regained consciousness the entrance hall of her house was filled with people. Next to her was sitting an emergency physician who was telling her not to move. Two police officers were standing close, observing the scene and talking to a woman Veronica recognized as her neighbor. She probably had called the police, she figured, knowing the elder woman always had looked at her with that pitiful glance. For once she was grateful that someone had interfered.

Her head aches heavily. She wanted the pain to disappear so she closed her eyes again, hoping it would ease the headache.

"Don't, stay with me!" the doctor says instantly and claps her cheek and she opens her eyes again.

Finally collecting her thoughts she speaks up. How long was she out, where was Thomas and… Riley? "Wha, what happened?" she asks, trying to remember: "Riley! Is Riley okay?"

She hears her neighbor explaining to the police officer, that Riley was her daughter. One of the officers knelt down next to her: "Ms. Arlington we haven't found your daughter, could you please tell us what has happened?" he asks gently.

Veronica tries to get up, panicking: "Riley's not here?" she asks looking around. The physician holds her down: "Please Ms. Arlington, stay down, an ambulance will be here shortly!" he explains.

But how was a mother supposed to stay calm when her child was with someone who blamed her for everything that went wrong in his life, someone who had already touched her child the way Thomas had touched Riley the other night!

"No, no ambulance, I need to find him, he took her, he can't, he'll hurt her, he…" Tears were now welling up in her eyes, it was all her fault. If she hadn't had this affair, if she hadn't gotten pregnant from another man then her husband, everything would have been different, perfect. But she did! And she couldn't and wouldn't turn back the time. She just wanted her girl back, wanted to know that she was safe!

Still panicking but hold down by the doctor and the officer she gives up, feeling dizziness taking over. The last thing she hears before again being enclosed by the warm blackness was the officer telling his colleague, that they have to find that girl.

When she wakes up again she's surrounded by white walls, lying in a white bed. A hospital room! Immediately she's sitting in an upright position, looking directly in the face of...

"Dad?" she exclaims surprised.

He smiles worriedly: "Veronica what the hell did you think you were doing staying with that bastard?" he asks, touching her bruised cheek softly. He felt guilty not having realized what was going on but on the other hand, he and Veronica hadn't been in touch a lot since she had moved out of Neptune, left everything and everyone behind to start a 'new' life. He never understood her reasons, she never told him her reasons...

Veronica couldn't hold back the tears any longer when her Dad enclosed her in his arms. All the pain, the guilt and the fear washed over her and she cried silently, tears falling down her cheeks.

Finally when she had soothed down a little she started explaining him, that she had intended on leaving Thomas, she told him that she had already packed up everything, that she had wanted to leave before he was coming home from the club, but he was earlier than she had expected him.

The words came uncontrolled, unsorted; she just spoke what came to her mind. She was a mess and what she told him didn't really make any sense at all. But as a private investigator and a former police officer he knew how to handle her so he would get the facts he needed. And he got them, in the end he was able to puzzle together what had happened. To make her more reasonable and also to calm her down he went trough it with her a second time, asked her about little almost unimportant things that still might help. She did calm down and started to think as she would have all those years ago when she was still helping her father with all his cases.

Keith then promised her to do everything to find her daughter. Veronica, being as stubborn as she is, still didn't want to stay in the hospital. She just couldn't handle knowing her daughter being in trouble because of her and do nothing about it. But her father was as stubborn as she was and so she had to deal with being transported to Neptune Hospital where her stepmother Alicia would look after her while her father will look and find her daughter. She didn't doubt he will. He was good in what he did, even if he was worse than her, he was still the best she knew and she was glad he was looking for her Riley as well. The police also promised to help and Keith told his daughter, that they already had a few leads. He didn't tell her which ones though, knowing that if he would she probably release herself from the hospital to look for her daughter all by herself. Her being emotionally involved like she was that sure was not a good idea!

So after being checked again by a physician they got the okay to transport her to Neptune Hospital . Her father told her goodbye; he would stay and look for her daughter right away, which calms her down a bit. Still she feels like she has to do something about it, anything… Her father tells her to get her life ordered and with tears in her eyes she nods and is being shoved into an ambulance car which brings her back to Neptune, back to where everything began…


	4. Chapter 4

Ahhhh thanks so much for the wonderful reviews. I am so happy I got some yeah Hug, hug and even more hugging :) You're wonderful guys, therefore I am trying to get more than one chapter out today… Sorry I haven't updated yesterday but I didn't had the chance to get working at my computer :( But today I am all alone and it doesn't seem like there's much work to do… Ahhh I stop blabbering, sorry…

Chapter 03:

Veronica had tried to sleep on the way to Neptune but she wasn't able to. Too much was going on in her head, to much worried her: the kidnapping of her daughter, what will possibly happen to Thomas when they do catch him and last but certainly not least she thought of her old friends with whom she hasn't had contact in years. She hadn't even called or contacted her Dad often. Only informed him every now and then about how she was and what she was doing. He had been visiting her when little Riley was born and he had called Riley every birthday, he had called her as well, but they never had much to talk they mostly argued about her returning to Neptune. So she really had been surprised that he had come to visit her in the hospital but then again he was Keith Mars, he had always been there for her, even while he hadn't really been sure that he actually was her father.

Tears were welling up in her eyes, she knew she had made a lot of mistakes and her biggest was to leave Neptune and all her friends. But she just wasn't able to handle it anymore. She had looked so though on the outside but she wasn't really, the mystery about Lilly's death had kept her going, kept her sane and occupied. After finding out who had actually killed Lilly she suddenly felt very empty and like she lost her best friend again. Adding the fallout with Logan, discovering that Duncan wasn't her brother, her father in hospital, everything… It just was too much to take! So when her mother had called half a year later and asked her if she wanted to move in with her in LA, she gladly agreed and left Neptune for good without looking back.

She knew that with that decision she had hurt her father the most, so she had written him a letter, trying to explain why she'd done it. Tried to explain that it hadn't anything to do with him, that she just needed some time away and that she was certain to come back sometime in the future. He did understand, that he had told her once, but since then he had always tried to talk her into returning back home and she just couldn't find the courage to do so.

Then she fell in love again!

It wasn't the kind of relationship she had with Duncan or Logan. It wasn't the same kind of feeling she had felt back then. It was more like the love she had felt for a very good friend, she really cared a lot about Thomas. And he did love her, does still probably. So when, after one horrible visit in Neptune, Veronica had found out that she was pregnant he asked her to marry him. He had promised not only to look after her and to love her in good and bad times, he had also promised her to be a good father for her unborn child. He hadn't kept any of these promises, she now thought bitterly.

But then again it was easier to marry Thomas than facing the problems she had with Riley's real father. She had no clue how she was supposed to tell him that she was pregnant with his child, nor how he will react, would he be happy, after all they had a huge fight and the break up wasn't really nice. So she did a very untypical thing for her and she chose Thomas over Riley's father. The first months were incredible, sometimes she was able to betray herself and she really thought she was happy. Thomas was an understanding man and he had treated her like she was the most beautiful and amazing woman on the earth, he had read every wish from her eyes and even though she hadn't been the funniest person to be with while she had suffered from the pregnancy.

And she had suffered, emotionally and physically. Guilt had eaten her up, she had wanted to tell her friends about the pregnancy but then she was sure that if she did questions would be raised and they would realize that her husband just couldn't be her child's biological father. So she stopped talking to Wallace, Weevil and also Duncan. She didn't even tell her father at first. Then there were complications, she almost lost her child and had to stay in bed for about three month to limit the risk of an early abortion. That's when Thomas had called her father, finding out she hadn't even told him yet. They ended up fighting and with a visit of Keith and Alicia who where both very confused and also worried about Veronica's weird behaviour which led to another fight, this one with her father. It all ended badly and made Veronica feel even worse…

But then the ambulance stopped and the door opened. Alicia and Wallace's little brother were already waiting for her. Veronica felt relieved and happy about them still caring, even though of all the mistakes she had done, even though she had screamed at them, blamed them and had told them nasty things that have cut very deep…

Veronica didn't say hi, she just stared at her with a sorrowful and guilty look on her face: "I am so sorry, sorry…" she murmured and Alicia walked beside her, while they transported her into a room of Neptune Hospital.

Alicia smiled down at her: "You should say that to your father Darling…" she said low: "He took it pretty hard!" It wasn't exactly what Veronica was hoping to hear, but she knew that Alicia had every right to lecture her.

"I know and I am sorry, for everything, I have done so much, I don't even know where to start and maybe I deserve this, maybe I deserve that Riley is being taken from me, but she doesn't. She hadn't done anything wrong…" Now the tears were again falling and the fear for her daughter was coming back. It felt like a punch in the stomach, she cringed, it hurt more than any of the punches she had received from Thomas.

They reached a room and Alicia stayed with her. She looked down at the small figure Veronica was. In the big white bed she looked even smaller than she already was. And she looked horrible. If she ever would see Thomas again, she couldn't guarantee for anything. How could he do such a thing, she always thought that this man loved Veronica with all his heart, she had been sure about this, it had been the only thing that had kept her sane over the years. While Keith was missing his daughter so much she had always calmed him with the words that she was fine and that she has got a nice husband who will take care of her. She was wrong and she didn't even want to imagine how horrible it must have been for Veronica, how horrible it must be for her knowing her daughter was with such a cruel man.

The two woman haven't exchanged any more words, Alicia just sat there holding Veronica's hand and silence settled over the room. Veronica was exhausted from crying and the long trip to Neptune as well as all the emotional turmoils have drained her.

"You'll tell me when Dad calls?" she asks low, just to make sure she wanted to be woken if there were any news on how her daughter was.

Alicia nods: "I will stay right here Darling, get some rest…" she ordered and it didn't took any more pleading Veronica's eyes were already closing and she drifted off…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 04:

Wallace had been informed about Veronica's return to Neptune when he had called his mother. He was angry, angry because she had left, angry because she hadn't called him, angry because she hadn't even told him that she was pregnant and that she now had a little daughter. They used to be best friends, became stepsiblings and still she hadn't felt like he was someone she could trust and that hurt him the most.

Despite all of this he was now sitting in a chair next to her bed, watching her sleep. He felt sorry for her because she looked like hell, her left eye was swollen and of some weird colors, her arms also were covered with bruises and he was able to see where Thomas had grabbed her. He didn't want to know how she looked under the blanket or the hospital gown. He didn't want to know what she had gone through all these years, what that bastard who called himself her husband had done to her.

He knew she had taken some things pretty hard, that she wasn't as though as she always pretended but that she was going to let a man do such things to her was just something that suprised him quite a bit. But seing this Veronica, this small vulnerable women lying in this white big hospital bed it was easier to imagine that she wasn't even half that strong as she had always pretended to be. Maybe he just should have been more insistent trying to stay in contact with her, more obtrusive...

He was so deep in thoughts that he didn't realize Veronica had woken up and was watching him as he watched her. But she didn't say a word, too surprised seing him sitting in the chair Alicia promised to be, too surprised that he even cared, last time they had talked was... Definitely years ago, she couldn't even recall it! And still there he was, sitting in her hospital room. She felt, despite all the bad things that had happened to her in the past 48 hours, happy and relieved. She realized how much she had missed her best friend, his face, his comfort, him just being there.

"I could bake you some cookies when I get home!" she says, low, just to break the silence and realized that she actually didn't have something like a home, not anymore, or at least not really something she considered as one.

Wallace looks at her a little startled, torn out of his deep thoughts: "Veronica you're awake..." he states and looks at her with an undefining expression. But he can't stay angry with her for too long, he never was able to stay mad with her. Not back in school, not now, especially not now...

He pulls his chair closer to the bed and takes her hand: "How are you?" he asks a lot more friendly. But that caused her almost more pain as if he had stayed angry with her.

"Why's everyone so nice while I have done so much mistakes, I never called you, I left and never called you Wallace, why are you here? You're better off without me!" she sobbs tiredly making Wallace's heart break for her.

"Veronica stop it okay, we can handle this another time, now there are more important things to solve!" he announced looking at her kind of expectant. "You're going to be relieved from this hospital by tomorrow, my Mom said you'll stay with her but if you want to, you could stay with us, it's your decision..." he tried to occupie her mind with something else than remorse.

"Us?" she asks, exactly the thing he was hoping for causing him to smile broadly.

"Yeah us!" he nodded grinning even broader now enjoying the curious look on Veronica's face not telling her anymore than the word us.

"Wallace Mars, spill!" she said in her old Veronica Mars manner when she noticed a golden ring on his right hand. "Okay so Wallace is a married man!" she notices and smiles: "Who's the lucky woman? Any kids?" she asks curious and so they start catching up. Wallace tells her everything that has been going on in Neptune, so that after a few hours Veronica felt like she never has left...

Then a knock at the door and it opens, another familiar face. Veronica stars at him in disbelief when a little girl came running in the room.

Please feedback! I am going to jump around here if I am going to have another few feedbacks today like the one's before and it makes me writing some more chapters this weekend… And that's a promise!


	6. Chapter 6

This one's for you MissLindsey, thanks for the regular feedback :) Also thanks to everyone else who has feedbacked me, I am soooo yeay-happy about all the feedback I got, jumping around here lol As for Logan, he's a father, if he's Riley's, well I still leave that open, could also be Duncan with whom she had an affair dumdidum Well both man are going to make one hell of an appearance, as are most of the other characters of Veronica Mars and I hope Riley's going to be back soon... sigh

Chapter 05:

Suddenly the girl came to a stop, starred at the woman in the bed: "Who are you?" she asks with big eyes, turning around to the man who was still standing in the door: "You said we're going to visit a friend, I don't know her, she's not a friend!" she says a little dissapointed. It was obvious she had expected someone else. But Veronica didn't care, the only thing she could do was stare at the man in the door, and he was staring back at her, his brown eyes piercing into hers. _'He hasn't changed at all!'_ was the first thing that popped into Veronica's mind. Then her stomach started to knot. He was here, now, with his daughter! Why has Wallace not told her anything about this!

She focused on the girl, she must be around six years, brown eyes and brown hair... She resembles him little but she does. Her heart breakes, shatteres into thousand little pieces. She hears him speaking with her, it's like he's thousand miles away, she feels like she's floating above all of them, observing this little reunion unable to speak up or do anything...

"She's a friend, she actually used to be Lilly's best friend!" explains the girl and this seems to explain a lot to the little girl.

A big smile spread on her face and she approached the bed, noticing Wallace for the first time: "Oh good evening Mr. Mars!"

Wallace smiled at the girl: "Hey Lilly, how was school today?" he asks and the girl looks a little disapointed.

"With you it's funnier, I don't like the other teachers!" she wrinkels her nose: "Especially not Mom!"

Logan laughed: "Outch, don't tell her that, she'll be very disapointed!" Lilly nodded and climbed up to Veronica who was starring at her like she was seing a ghost.

"Hi Veronica, I actually thought you're bigger, on the pictures with Aunt Lilly you look bigger..." she talks on: "And what happened to your eye?" she touches it causing Veronica to flinch. Logan jumps forward, lecturing the girl: "Stop that Lilly, that hurts her, you don't want to hurt her do you?"

Lilly shakes her head: "I am sorry!" she says truthfully.

Veronica, against her dissapointment, has to smile: "Don't worry, I am okay..." she says and touches the cheek of the little girl: "I like your name!" she said and looked at Logan again.

The girl smiled: "I like it too, especially because Daddy told me a lot about Lilly and he said she would have wanted to get to know me, she would have loved me, he says I am a lot like her, not the good looks, he says I am much more beautiful than her, but I am like her a pain in the ass and still he calls me his little princess..." she babbles happily.

Veronica looks at her a little taken aback and jealous. Her daughter should be able to talk like that about her family but Riley never talks and if she does she's got this quiet and low voice and she definetly isn't Daddy's little princess. Hard Veronica tries to hold back the tears that started to well up in her eyes, leaving Lilly quiet for a minute, just staring at her. Logan picked her up: "Uhm Darling I guess it's better if we leave, uhm or Wallace would you mind look after Lilly for a moment, I think, uhm I want to talk to her..." he explains.

Wallace nods: "Sure where's Duncan anyway, isn't he supposed to come over as well?" Logan sighs: "Trina had called him, she's not feeling well but he'll stop by later..." he said that in both directions, to Wallace and Veronica.

Veronica had listened to the conversation, trying to block it out but not suceeding. He wanted to stay, he wanted to talk to her, about what? She couldn't tell him, not ever, she couldn't destroy his life now that he seemed so happy. She had seen the affection he feels for the little girl, the love, it showed off in how he has taken her in his arms, how he talked to her, just everything... He loved her and she felt even worse because Riley could have had all this as well, if she just would have had the courage to tell her father the truth. Maybe she'd be as happy as Lilly now, as talkative and outgoing and not the shy little girl she had become...

She heard the door close. She guessed Wallace and Lilly have left the room now which made her nervous. She was alone in the room with Logan Echolls. The man she had left behind with a broken heart. Of all the people she had left behind Logan probably was the one who she hurt the most. Adding all the things she had done before she had left. Not trusting him was probably the biggest mistake she had ever made!

You wanna read another chapter today? Then start feedbacking and I will do my best to get another two chapters out by tonight!


	7. Chapter 7

Okay so here is the first of the two promised chapters :) I am not sooo happy how it turned out, I can't even tell you why, I'm just not and there's kind of no mystery solved, but well... I hope you guys like it nevertheless. I was so honored when I booted my computer today and saw that I got another five reviews, you guys rock, it's much more fun to write a story knowing it's liked by the readers... So I now stop blabbering, enjoy!

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Chapter 06: 

Silence settled on the room, neither of them spoke when Veronica suddenly felt the mattress shifting, she closes her eyes instantly and tries to calm down. But her heart races and her breath speeds up a little when she feels him sitting down next to her.

He does not touch her; he does not say one single word, he just sits there watching her lying in that bed with her back towards him. Gone! Yeah that's what she did, she had left him when he would have needed her the most, but on the other hand he had told her that he wished she was dead. But he hadn't meant it, he was hurt, she hasn't trusted him, had turned him in thinking he was the murder of Lilly, the love of his life, his first love...

Low, almost a whisper: "I am sorry!"

Did he imagine that or did she just really say she's sorry. He closes his eyes, letting the words wash over him. He had wished to hear these words for so many years now, wished she would come back to Neptune, tell him she's sorry and that they at least tried to work things out. But she never came, or no she did, but she hasn't said these words back then. Instead they had ended up screaming at each other, hurting each other. I had been some horrible weekend!

"I could never have hurt her!" he states and sees her nodding.

"I know, I knew but the evidence... You lied with your allibi, who would do that if not guilty?" she spoke low, about things that have happened so many years ago. Things she didn't want to talk about, there were more important things she needed to talk about him but she didn't dare to.

Even though he didn't want to, even though he still wanted to be angry with her, he could understand her actions from back then. With all the years that have passed he had started to see things more clearly, he grew up. She had wanted closure, she thought with finding who really has murdered Lilly she would finally be able to get what she needed so badly, the right to move on... She had also thought Duncan to be able to kill Lilly, she has had suspicions against every one of her friends. That also included him if he liked it or not...

"You left..." he then stated and almost instantly she turned around.

"You wanted me dead, remember?" she asks and looks him in the eyes: "So I left, being dead for you and all the Neptune residents, I was, kind of, without Lilly..." her voice cracked and Logan knew exactly what she meant. When Lilly died she was not only gone, she had taken so much with her. And Veronica's Mom had left her as well, she was just gone, and she had been raped, it definetly wasn't an easy year on her...

"I'm sorry too!" he said starring back into her eyes. He couldn't really believe that he had just said that out loud but it was what he felt. She never should have gone through all of this alone and yet she had to. Because he had blamed everyone for Lilly's death, even her, even himself. Their friendship was as dead as Lilly was at that time. And Duncan, he had his own reasons for breaking up with Veronica, good reasons, but he should have talked to her about these reasons. They could have worked it out!

But they have been young, they have been innocent and naive, they've all made mistakes...

Veronica started crying, silently. He watched the tears fall down her cheeks and his heart broke for her. "Ronnie I am so sorry, for everything, we've made so much things more complicated than they should have been, I was so angry with you, with me, my father, Duncan, everyone... I should have never said what I did at the Dog Beach, I should have never blamed you..." he just couldn't stop it, everything he felt so bad about broke out of him.

After all she had been the only one that had helped him when he had thought that his mother was still alive. She was the only one that had made him feel happy again, happy like he never had been with Lilly because with Lilly things have been crazy. He had known that she has never loved him the way he had loved her. She had been this one crazy girl and she had made him suffer, even after her dead she had made him clear that their relationship was far from perfect. But with Veronica it had been different. The few times they had spent together withouth Lilly disturbing they have been happy, more than happy...

Veronica broke, shaken from sobbs she almost spits out the words: "Don't, please Logan, don't apologize, you have no idea what I did to you, what I am going to do, I am horrible, you shouldn't even be here, no one should, I am bad, I bring bad luck, I make everyone suffer, I let him hurt her, I let him beat her, I let him, I haven't even tried to stop him..."

How could he appologize to her when she had done much more wrong than he did. But then he had no clue what she had done... That made her sob even harder and when she felt his arms around her, she struggled, tried to get rid of him, screaming, beating him but he didn't let go of her until she gave up and cuddled into his arms, still crying, clinging to his shirt that now was soaked with her salty tears...

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As always feedback is very much appreciated :) 


	8. Chapter 8

So there it is, the second chapter I promised! Thanks again for all the kind reviews you gave me :) You're the reason why I keep writing on this story and go on with it, otherwise I'd probably only have two or three chapters out by now! THANKS!

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Chapter 07:

Logan just hold her tightly in his arms while she was saying stuff that really didn't make sense to him. She talked about someone called Riley, about someone who had hurt Riley.

And who has hurt her? She looked horrible, that swollen eye, all these bruises, it reminded him of how he looked after his father had beaten him up. Had someone hit her, and who, and why hadn't she done anything about it? She wasn't the kind of girl who just let anyone hit her, not even with words, she always shot back...

But then again, what did he know about the Veronica Mars of today, nothing really... Just that she was clinging on to him like something really bad must have happened to her. In that second the door to her room opened and Duncan, Trina, Lilly and Wallace were standing there. Veronica didn't look up and Logan just made a gesture with his hand, showing them that she probably needs some time alone.

He figured that all these people from her past were maybe just a little too much to take. They nodded in unison and the door closed again causing Veronica to stirr, looking up at him she asks: "Who was it?"

In that moment Logan realizes how close they're sitting and he backs away a little, not really sure if she really would appreciate his closeness as soon as she would come to her senses. But when he does he catches a spark of dissapointment in her eyes yet he doesn't change his mind. Rushing things under this circumstances wouldn't be the best idea. They already have rushed things once and it certainly didn't end well. He frowned thinking of the second time she had left Neptune.

"The Kane family and Wallace!" he then answered her question, when he saw her rising an eyebrow he smiled: "As in Duncan, Trina and Lilly Kane!" he explained.

She first only nods when she starts getting pale and blushes at the same time: "Lilly Kane? As in the girl that was in here just minutes ago, she's Duncan's?"

Logan looks at her and chuckles: "Sure she is, what did you think, that she's mine? Flattering but no! She's Duncan's little princess, I am only the bad uncle!" He observes her reaction: '_Is she relieved or is it just his imagination wishing for her to be relieved! Did she really think I could have a kid of six years on my own, that would mean I would have had been a father when we have seen each other in LA five years ago, it would mean that I have lied to her...'_

Veronica was now observing him and their eyes locked, it was a weird mixture of hope, guilt and fear that was showing off in her eyes. Logan again found himself asking what had happened to her.

After a while he took her hand in his own: "I am going to step by every now and then if you're okay with that!" he says low with the intention to leave her now. She still had Duncan to face and he had kicked out Wallace earlier, they sure didn't want to wait out there the whole day. Veronica nodded hesistant.

"Promise?" she asks then just to make sure that he will show up again, telling herself that she then will find the courage to tell him everything.

Logan smiles wickedly: "Yeah promised Ronnie!" he kisses her forehead softly: "And you girl, take care of yourself okay, I don't want to see you like that again, your face is just too beautiful to be hit like that..." he carresed one of her bruises softly. If she would tell him who had done this to her, he was sure he would go and kill that guy. She doesn't tell him, just nods with a sad expression in her eyes.

Logan gets up: "See you soon..." he says, smiles at her and starts walking to the door: "If you ever need help or anything, just come by, you know where I life..." with that he leaves her, letting the door open for her other friends to enter. He can't see the tears that are now flowing down Veronica's cheeks, and he certainly couldn't know why she was crying...


	9. Chapter 9

Hey I am so flattered that it worked, I really tried hard not to write anything that will tie Lilly to Logan…

I also tried to not tell who Riley's father is but oh well, guess it's obvious now :)

I could never not let these two end up together, I mean hey whatever ship goes by the abbreviation LoVe? Those two are just meant to be together lol

Well anyway here you go, again thanks for the wonderful reviews!

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Chapter 08:

The time went by quickly. After an hour of some uneasy chitchat and some hurt glances towards Lilly from Veronica who was always remembered of her daughter while looking at the little girl, Duncan and Trina decided to leave. Only Wallace had stayed with her until visiting time was over. At first they have just been sitting there in silence until Veronica couldn't hold it back any longer, she needed to talk about what has happened, she needed someone she could confide in and that always had been Wallace.

She started from the very beginning:

"After the incident with Aaron, finding out who really had killed Lilly I was, I really lost it. It was like I lost Lilly once again, I had this weird dream of her telling me I should never forget her and then she was gone. In that year while I was trying to figure out what has happened to her it was like she was there with me, always and then suddenly she was gone!"

Wallace interrupted, seeing how heartbroken she was: "Veronica you do not have to tell me everything, it's okay, I don't blame you, neither does my mother or your father, no one actually does!"

Veronica just nods and looks at him: "I know, I still want to tell you this, I need you to listen…"

Wallace looks at her and then slowly gets up and over to her bed. Sitting down next to her, he enclosed her in an embrace: "Okay tell me everything but take your time…" he ordered, not letting go of her.

So Veronica went on with her story:

"I have kicked out my Mom finding out that she was still drinking. And I have called Alicia, your mother, to be with my Dad because I know that she was the one to make him happy, not my mother, not anymore. My Mom left taking the check which should have covered my college fee with her. Then you have showed up and I finally was able to get some rest, but still there was so much going on in my head, with finding out who has killed Lilly I hurt so many people. Duncan, Logan, Logan the most probably." she started fidgeting with her hands nervously. She then looked up at him: "I loved him, but it made me feel so guilty and I really didn't know how to handle it… Then I turned him in, jumping on conclusions, I didn't trust him which ended up him wishing me dead, again!" she sighed when she saw the shocked expression on Wallace's face.

"I told him I would make Backup go for his throat!" she said. "I haven't been much better than he was, we have both said and done horrible things to hurt each other."

"I never showed up on our first date, for example… And I thought Logan raped me, I really didn't trust him in any way and I don't think a relationship like that would have worked, do you?"

Wallace shakes his head, somehow understanding now even better than before. There was a lot more to the events than he had thought, a lot more emotional turmoil which must have drained the insecure girl she really was. He still hold her tight, to show her his support and so she went on.

"I didn't dare to talk to anyone of the 09'ers, even though suddenly they again recognized me, they greeted me, almost like back when I was Lilly's best friend. But I didn't want to talk to Duncan, to Logan, to any of them, everything just felt wrong. I have hoped that solving the case would bring us back to how it was before she had died, that everything would be the same, but I have changed over the year, everyone has and part of me didn't want it to be like before Lilly died, part of me did…"

After a small break she went on: "Then about a year later my Mom called, she told me that she had her life sorted out, that she has a flat in LA and that she stopped drinking. She also told me that she would be very happy if I'd stay with her. I took the opportunity to leave everything behind, start over, because how it was really wasn't any good for me. To go to school was hard even though I didn't show it but it was even harder then back when people have picked on me… Then again I knew that my decision is wrong, that I should be more mature and talk things out, with Duncan, with Logan, with everyone but I was drained, I neither had the courage nor the strength to do it at the time. Running didn't help though! I still think that I am not ready, I still fear talking things out…"

"But you have, I mean you talked to your father, you talked to my mom and with Logan and Duncan, and you're now talking with me, you do not have to be afraid, not anymore, we all grew up and we're not in High School anymore!" Wallace quipped in but Veronica just looks at him sadly.

"There's more to it, the story isn't finished, I did much more things wrong than you can imagine!" she says not daring to see him in the eyes. Wallace wonders what she is talking about, he had no clue…

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Okay I had a hard time starting with this chapter, but I am kinda relieved about how it turned out. So you're going to be told the whole story from when Veronica had left LA until the day she had wanted to leave Thomas in the next few chapters; I don't know how many it will take me to summ up everything. Well anyway I hope you like where I am going to take this story and I am looking forward to your reviews... As I am at work and I am again bored I guess I will have another chapter out by tonight... See ya :)


	10. Chapter 10

So another chapter, it's longer then the one's before but I've summed everything up that has happenedwhile Veronica has lived in LA...So instead of a few chapters it's only one...

Hope you like it, it's a little dramatic but well… lol I feel like a drama queen right now... But there you have it, Veronica tells someone about Riley's real father, but just someone and not Logan... sigh

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Chapter 09:

„I'll just tell you from the rest, just, uhm I just have to find a point where to start…" she muses. Wallace doesn't push her he just sits next to her and waits patiently for her to continue, even though he's more than curious about what she had done in all that time she had spent in LA. He knew only little, that she's married and that she's got a four year old kid. He also knew that this kid has been kidnapped by it's own father, he asks himself how that would be possible, a father kidnapping his own child? Doesn't he have the right to just take his daughter and go with her to the zoo or anything. But after seeing Veronica's face, all the bruises he guessed that it wasn't a good thing having that father walking around with Riley without any supervision.

With hesitation Veronica then went on:

"So I left for my mother's and changed school and everything. She had a good job and was paid well. As she had taken the money that was supposed to be for my college she had come up with a solution and I was able to go anywhere I wanted. She was there for me and tried to make up for everything she had done in the past two years but I didn't really let her. I became a loner and concentrated on my studies. I have had quarrels with my Dad because he wanted me to return to Neptune, you noticed that I didn't listen to him. Well I have, I have spent one horrible weekend in Neptune without people knowing I am there, I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to come back but I couldn't bring up the courage when I saw you. No one noticed me except Logan. He was starring at me, angry and hurt and I just turned around and left again. He didn't follow me then, not right away…" she stopped talking thinking back to the events that have followed that occasion.

Wallace caressed her cheek: "You really don't have to tell me everything!" he said low, realizing what was to come probably was the hardest thing to tell. But with saying that he only made her wanting to tell these things even more:

"I travelled back to LA, I was in College at the time and I've got that really good friend, Thomas Arlington, we used to learn together, went out couple of times but it just never was the same as it had been with Duncan, and he certainly was not Logan who I guess I…" she didn't finish the sentence, not sure about her feelings against the man he now was. "Well he was a good friend, nothing more. We left the building and Logan was waiting, I was shocked, I haven't really thought that anyone ever will come to LA to talk because it was my place to do so, I was the one who has left but there he was. Thomas realized that something was wrong and put a protective arm around my shoulders. The glance, the way Logan looked at me then…" she shuddered.

"He was hurt so much, I hurt him, again, I can't even count how many times I hurt him…" she now talks fast, without stopping again. Fearing that she wouldn't be able to tell him everything if she didn't do it right away.

"I dismissed Thomas which hurt him, I guess but I needed to talk to Logan, I wanted to make him understand, I was somehow happy he had shown up, that he still cared even though he had told me he wanted me dead. I thought maybe we could… But no, we ended up at his hotel room. We screamed, we hurt each other even more, telling nasty things, spoke out curses and… and then we kissed and, and we had sex…" Now she couldn't go on anymore, thinking of that night was just too, it overwhelmed her. "He was drunk…" she stated: "Otherwise he wouldn't have kissed me, we wouldn't have… and he left, just like this, when I woke up he was gone!" Tears were streaming down her face. That he had left her after they've shared the night, hurt her a lot. It certainly was a 'first' time she'll ever remember!

"After this I couldn't come back, not even if I would have found the courage to face Duncan, you and all the others I have left, I couldn't face Logan again!" she confessed. "And then I found out that he got me pregnant, it was about two month after his visit in LA that I realized why I was feeling so bad. First I thought I am just late because I was totally stressed but then I just couldn't pretend like nothing is wrong anymore and I went to see a doctor. I was shocked and I didn't know what to do. I cried for almost like a week, didn't go to College and just looked me up in my room. Then I told Thomas, told him everything and he proposed to me. He promised to take care of me and my child that he'll be a good father and I believed him, I wanted to because I wanted the child. An abortion was not an option for me even though I was still young and I had no job and all, I wanted it and he offered me help when I needed it the most. He knew I never loved him the way he loved me but he always said that he would love me enough for the both of us so we got married almost instantly. He was a wonderful husband and he took very good care of me." Wallace furrowed his brows looking at her face that was showing off that he had not taken very good care of her.

Veronica shook her head: "He did, really, he never pushed me into doing anything and when I was laying in bed with complications he had read every wish from my eyes. I was or well pretended to be very happy, I wanted it to work out, for me, for him and for my child. Then Riley was born and he fell in love with her, you should have seen him carrying her around, he really was a wonderful father to her in the first year. He had done everything for me and for Riley. But when she had turned two and had started to resemble him things changed. It was like every time he looked at her he saw the reason why I will never be able to love him, or so he said. He had said a lot of things while he was drunk. And he got himself drunk a lot. Sometimes he didn't even come home anymore and when he did it was, it was only to to…" she inhaled sharply.

"I can't tell you what he did to her, I can't, she just, she never said a word, nor did she cry, she called him Daddy nevertheless and I haven't realized, didn't want to see it. I have talked with Tom a lot about this events, and he always agreed about needing help, he promised me that we will work it out and that everything will go back to the way it was before Riley had turned two. But he never got himself help and it got worse, he…" again she couldn't say it out loud.

"Riley already has had broken legs and arms, and I was a regular visitor at the hospitals, I never used the same one, knowing that they would get suspicious, I tried to hide that my family wasn't perfect, that the life I had was even worse then the one I ran from…" she sobbed: "I let him do all this stuff, I didn't do anything to stop him!" Wallace, shocked from the facts, cuddles her in his arms. "She's nothing like Lilly, she's shy and calm, she doesn't speak much, she doesn't trust anyone and it's my fault, I should have realized earlier, I should have left him right then when it started…" she broke right then, sobbed hard and let go of all the fear and pain she felt in that moment. Tears flooded down her cheeks and soaked Wallace's shirt when another knock at the door disrupted them.

It was a nurse telling them that visiting time was over and that Wallace has to leave now, he pleads her so she lets him stay with Veronica but she shakes her head: "I am sorry, but these are the rules!" she said.

Veronica wiped the tears away, looking at Wallace: "Just promise you won't tell anyone about what happened with Logan, please?"

Wallace didn't want to give her that promise but the look in her eyes made him do it nevertheless. "But you should tell him, he has a right to know!"

Veronica nodded, not knowing how she should break this news to him so she changed the subject, told him goodbye: "Tell Meg hi from me okay? And that I am sorry!" this made him smile and he nods while getting up: "Sure thing! I'll stop by tomorrow taking her with me and you're welcome to come and stay with us, just give it a thought okay!" Veronica again nodded in agreement watching him leave her room.

Leaving her alone to the fear and worries she feels for her little girl. Why hadn't her father called, why haven't they found her yet? Was she alright? Please let her be alright!

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Okay I can't take it any longer! I have to bring Riley back soon, poor little girl… 


	11. Chapter 11

And another chapter for my lovely feedbacker MissLindsey! Hope I can make you day a little better with this chapter…

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Chapter 10:

Keith Mars had followed some leads and he was surprised that they led him right back to Neptune. What is going on in Thomas head, why is he taking Riley back to Neptune, it just didn't make sense to him…

At the same time in front of the Echolls estate:

Thomas was sober now, still he smelled of the alcohol he had drunken the night before. Riley was crying silently on the backseat and he felt sorry for her and for what he did. So to make things alright he thought he'd end this once and for all and he drove on and on until he reached the little town called Neptune. A town his wife hated, detested, a town she had left years ago. But he knew that as much as she hated it she also loved it and the people that still were living here. Especially her father and also Logan Echolls. A rich spoiled brat in his eyes but a tender loving man in Veronica's. He didn't know what has been going on between the two of them but he knew that with having Riley Veronica would never be able to forget him, nor get over him.

He had realized that he never will be able to have her like Logan Echolls has her and that realization had hurt, it had made him sad and angry at the same time. He had started drinking and lost it totally. With each time he got home totally drunk it got worse, he had known that it was not right what he did but still he couldn't stop himself from being so angry. Last night things got out of control, totally. Actually they did many times before but this time Veronica had hit the stairs badly and she had lost consciousness. Driven by panic and anger he ran, without looking back.

But by the time he became sober again he felt sorry, guilt and fear for his wife. Riley in the backseat who was crying silently wasn't making him feel any better. He drove on, without really knowing where to go until he saw the sign welcoming him to Neptune. One name: Logan Echolls, he had to see him, he didn't know why but he searched for his house. Now standing in front of it he was in awe. He hasn't expected a house like this. Sure he knew he was rich but a house like this! He wanted to ring the bell when a car approached and a tall guy got out of his car. When Thomas looked at him more closely he recognized him, he hadn't changed much since he had been looking for Veronica five years ago. "Logan Echolls?" he asks nevertheless.

The man nods, scratches his brow: "You must be one of Ronnie's friends from LA!" he states and Thomas wanted to tell him that he's her husband but gets disrupted from Logan again: "I've just visited her in the hospital, she's alright I guess, looks pretty bad though, so what brings you up to my gate instead of the hospital?"

Thomas pales: "She's in the hospital, how bad is it?" he asks feeling terribly guilty now. The next instant anger is rushing through him. As soon as she's back here that man visited her, the one man her heart belongs to. Does he know about Riley? Probably not, Veronica's not brave enough to face it. She never was, not even when he had hit Riley she had said anything different than them being a family. Even though they both knew better!

Logan looked him up and down: "You look awful man, you want come inside and change, I think visiting hours are over now anyway…" he states opening the gate. "Just drive through and park your car next to the house…" he offers and starts walking to his own car again, when the little girl on the backseat of Thomas' car catches his eye: "Oh you've got a girl?" he asks, smiling at her.

Thomas could say nothing but nod. How comes that man treated him like a long lost friend. Probably because he doesn't know anything, not about their marriage nor him hitting his child. He probably didn't even know he was a father. "Her name's Riley!" he says and Logan stops in his tracks, turns around a thoughtful expression on his face. "Veronica mentioned someone taking Riley, it didn't make a lot of sense to me what she said but…" he looked at the little girl again. Her eyes filled with tears and then back at the man, he approached him: "Who are you?" he asks and Thomas flinches. _'Gone is the friendly man…_' he thinks painfully. It hurt seeing him getting very protective over his wife, his daughter. Logan didn't have a right to, did he?

"My name's Thomas Arlington, I am Veronica's husband!" he states seeing in the eyes of a totally stunned and shocked Logan Echolls.

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Please feedback on this, I have updated now three in a row and I start to suffer from review-withdrawal lol 


	12. Chapter 12

And here you go! Another chapter for today! I am kinda in writing mood I guess and I still have one hour left, maybe I get another chapter done, uhm maybe, not promising this one now… But there certainly are going to be new chapters tomorrow…

Hope you like it!

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Chapter 11:

Logan felt his heart break: "She's married?" he asks still processing this new information. Thomas didn't like his reaction at all.

"As a matter of fact yes she is, for almost five years now!" he says looking at him angrily: "She didn't told you then?"

Logan now looked even more hurt, Thomas guessed it's the five years that have shocked him. Knowing it had been the time when he and Veronica had spent one last night together.

"And Riley's Veronica's daughter!" Logan then asks even though he anticipated the answer.

"As a matter of fact yes!" Thomas again answers. Forgotten was his intention to tell Logan that Riley was his daughter, that he was supposed to take care of her. Jealousy again gripped his heart as it has when they have walked out of the University building, seeing him leaning on a car, waiting for 'his' girl.

Logan looks him again up and down, he knew the smell of alcohol very well and the whole impression this man made on him didn't really fit with the image of a perfect husband. He tried to puzzle everything together, tries to remember what Veronica had said about Riley. Something like he took her and that she couldn't have stopped him, could it be that Riley had been kidnapped by her own father, was Thomas the one that was responsible for her swollen eye and all the bruises that covered her body?

Her certainly hoped not but seeing Thomas standing there he had the uneasy feeling that his first impression wasn't that wrong. He didn't want to make him leave though because if he actually had kidnapped Veronica's daughter he wanted to make sure little Riley would get back home safely. "Well come on in, I am sure Veronica is happy to hear that you're here, you can call her if you like…" he offers hoping the man wouldn't back away now.

He didn't and Logan showed him the way, awaited him at the entrance and showed him the bathroom. He also gave him new clothes and invited him to stay the night. When Thomas was cleaning himself up Logan's attention turned to the little girl. "Hey Riley, your Mommy misses you, do you know that?" he says in a low, cheery voice to make the fearful girl feeling at ease.

"Mommy!" was all the response he got. Logan realized that something was really wrong, Lilly never had been this shy, with four years they had to be careful so she didn't do any stupid things just out of curiosity and this girl was standing there, huddling a stuffed animal looking at him fearfully. He sat down on the floor, looking at her: "What is his name?" he asks and points with his finger at the rabbit.

"Pinky!" the little girl answers squeezing her little rabbit a little more.

"Hi Mr. Pinky I am Logan, a friend of Riley's Mommy…" he says smiling at the girl: "Does he say hi to me? Or is he shy?" he then asks.

"He's shy because of Daddy, doesn't like talking!" she says low, whispering almost.

Logan shivers: "What does your Daddy do when Mr. Pinky talks?" he asks her as low. Riley looked down at Pinky: "What does Daddy do…" she repeats his question without answering it. But Logan doesn't need her answer because in that moment he detects bruises on her arm. Shocked he got up dialling a number he knew by heart, it was Veronica's mobile, hoping she still had the same number or her mobile with her.

Keith Mars has almost reached Neptune when Veronica's mobile rang, he picked it up instantly: "Mars!" he answers.

"Mr. Mars, why are you, uh anyway I have Riley!" the person on the other end of the line says. But it's not Thomas, Keith knows this voice: "Logan? How?" he asks surprised and confused.

"She's been beaten by her father am I right, he beats her?" he asks furious.

Keith swallows, it wasn't the best idea to tell Logan Echolls of all people that Veronica's husband had been abusing her and her daughter. He could only imagine the rage of the young man against his own father who had abused him as well. "Logan just keep her with you, safe okay, I am on my way, only another five miles and I am with you, just don't do anything stupid!"

"Stupid, that man doesn't have the right to breath, she's what, three years old? And Veronica?" he certainly had taken the older man's reaction for a yes.

"Logan please listen to me, Veronica is safe and as long as you can keep an eye on Riley she's as well. Don't make her watching this, keep her occupied, play with her, call Veronica, let her talk with her mother, just please don't hurt anyone, don't, I'll call the police and we'll be with you in a few, promised!"

Logan knew the elder man was right but still the rage he felt towards that man was incredible. He looked over to Riley who was watching his every action. Her eyes full of fear and that made him call down: "Hurry!" was his only response putting down the phone.

He then called Neptune hospital, winking little Riley over…


	13. Chapter 13

Awww I can't believe it, you guys are so incredible!

Thanks :)

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Chapter 12:

Veronica had been so relieved to hear her little girl's voice that if Logan had been there she would have kissed the hell out of him. With tears in her eyes she listened to Riley.

"I've gone on a long trip with daddy, he said: Riley this is Neptune, it's were your mommy has lived when she has been a small girl like you!"

Veronica had to smile at her daughter who loved to repeat whatever adults were saying. "Yeah that's true and I am sure you're going to see your grandpa in a few minutes, you can go with him okay? Don't go with daddy go with your grandpa understood?" she asks and Riley nods hear head.

Veronica has to smile as there was no reply. She was almost certain that her girl was now nodding her head: "Riley did you understand? You have to go with your grandpa okay, say yes because I can't see if you're nodding your head or shaking it!"

"Yes mommy!" the little girl exclaimed: "I'll go with grandpa!" she promised.

"Good and now be a nice little girl and hand the phone over to Logan okay?" Again no reply from her little girl and she already wanted again to remind her that she wasn't able to see if she's nodding her head when Logan interrupted.

"Veronica she's fine, your father will be here in any minute, I called him, well actually I called your mobile, but he'll be here soon…" he went silent and Veronica's heart pounded.

She wanted to tell him so badly fearing Thomas could as soon as they won't let him take Riley back. She didn't want Logan to find it out like that, he'll be furious: "Logan please keep her away from him, please, she shouldn't see this, she won't understand, she thinks…" she almost told him. Her hand holding the phone was shaking: "Take her to the pool house!" she then ordered, that would keep Riley away from Thomas and Logan as well.

"No Veronica, I won't let him get away so easily, what he did…"

"Logan stop it, she has seen enough, take her to the pool house and stay with her until my Dad is gone with Thomas, promise me you will!" her voice now demanding.

"Your wish is my command Mars!" he muttered and hung up angry without saying anything else. Leaving Veronica laying alone in her hospital room hoping things would not get any worse, hoping she would be the one telling Logan that he was Riley's father whenever she felt ready to do so.

Logan looked at the girl, sighing. Veronica was right, she wasn't supposed to see any of this. He still heard the shower in the bathroom so he picked up the little girl and her rabbit and left for the pool house, talking to her low, reassuring her that everything will turn out fine and that they will go see her mother the next morning.

While he talked to her she lay her head down on his shoulder, closing her eyes, sniffing a little: "Mommy…" she whispered and Logan caressed her back, again reassuring her.

"We go see her tomorrow, promise!" he said and felt her nodding. When he tried to put her down on the bed so she could sleep he realized she was clinging on to his shirt. He didn't want to wake her up as she already seemed to sleep peacefully, so he lay down next to her, watching over her sleep.

She was beautiful as her mother, the same little snub nose, the same chin, but her eyes were of blue with some brown sparkles around the iris and her hair red, something that really didn't make her look like Veronica at all. He was still comforting her when he saw the blue light from the police cars.

Cautiously he got up and stood by the window, watching two police officers escort a quite angry Thomas Arlington. Then he saw Keith Mars approaching, Veronica must have called him, told him that he was probably in the pool house with Riley. He opened the door and waited for the elder man…


	14. Chapter 14

Okay again I am bored, this is going on my nerves..

But well this time I didn't got interrupted every five minutes. Wasn't really content with my other chapter grml This one's not a hit either but soon it will start getting interesting again, I hope… lalala

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Chapter 13:

"Logan, where's she?"

Logan looks back into the pool house: "She's sleeping…" he says low welcoming Veronica's father: "Come on in!"

Keith Mars approaches the bed watching the little girl sleeping there. He had only seen her once and back then she had been a lot smaller than now. Almost three years have passed since he had last seen his daughter and his grandchild. He caressed her cheek, smiling. She remembered him a lot of Veronica when she was at that age even though she looked quite different.

"I have to bring her to the police station!" he says and already tried to pick her up when Logan stops him: "No she needs to sleep!" he says eying Keith Mars suspiciously.

"She had a ruff day, she needs to sleep!" Keith looks at the young man: "She needs to see a doctor Logan, we need proof, we need everything we can get so we can look him up forever!"

That Logan did understand but still he didn't want to interrupt the girl's sleep. "I'll come with you!" he says without having really thought about it. Keith looks at him a little surprised about his sudden concern for the little girl. He watched Logan picking up Riley very careful so she won't wake up and he had to admit that there was more to Logan Echolls than he thought. In that moment he didn't look like the spoiled brat he used to portray when he was younger.

The both man left the Echolls residence and drove to the police station. Logan didn't let go of the little girl for a moment, cuddling her in his embrace he watches her sleep. Keith gets curious: "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" he looks at the young man shortly before concentrating on the streets again.

"No ask away!" Logan just replies serene his attention fully focused on the child in his arms.

"What's it between the two of you, I mean Veronica and you?" with that he caught Logan's attention. He looked at him surprised about the question: "Okay maybe I do mind…" he quipped in feeling uneasy now. There was only one person he could talk about his feelings for Veronica Mars and that was Veronica herself.

Keith didn't push, he just shrugged his shoulders: "It's okay, I was just curious…" he said and silence again settled on the three of them when Logan suddenly started to talk.

"I fell in love with her, it was weird because I actually hated her, I blamed her for Lilly's death and I made her suffer the year afterwards but then again I really liked the person she had become. She seemed so strong and though on the outside but sometimes one could see it in her eyes that she wasn't at all and I felt the need to protect her but then again I was so angry and so I was the one I should have protected her from…" he sighs: "I made a lot of mistakes…"

Keith nodded in agreement: "But that wasn't it, I mean the year passed and she has turned you in, we have, besides I am sorry about that!" he reasoned.

Logan stared outside the window for a while, thinking back to what it felt like being told that the one person he had trusted the most had turned him in. "I guess it started to change when I lost my mother, I thought she's still alive and Veronica helped me finding out if she really was. She was there for me when I needed her the most and while no one else was…" he confided.

Keith hadn't known that they have been looking for Lynn. For the first time he realized that maybe Logan's life wasn't so great at all. Maybe his impression of that boy was completely wrong, maybe he never has been that spoiled brat he thought he was.

There were things Veronica never had talked to him about and one of these things was her relationship with Logan. He didn't even knew they were seeing each other until it had been over.

"Once she'd been out and about for one of her cases when I called her and something went wrong, she got kidnapped or so we thought. She had left her mobile on so I heard where they were heading, I did the only thing that came to my mind at that point and…" he had to smile at the thought: "I knocked out an FBI officer!"

"An FBI officer?" Keith asked in disbelief. "Veronica had been kidnapped by an FBI officer? If I had known what she did all day I would have gone crazy, that girl certainly risked a lot, way too much for a father to take!" Keith shook his head still smiling.

Logan was laughing now: "Yeah that she did!" he grew silent again before going on: "That day we kissed and that freaked the hell out of us…" he looked down at the small girl. Keith didn't say a word, clearly aware that the younger man was now deep in thoughts.

"She didn't trust me though which probably was my fault. I've done so many things to hurt her the year before, how should she be able to trust me after that? And I told her I wanted her dead because again I was left alone, being left, I just couldn't do anything about it, everyone I love leaves sooner or later…" Logan suddenly came back to reality when the car came to a stop in front of the police station. He blushed slightly realising what he had been talking about and with whom. But Keith didn't say a word, just smiles understandingly.

Logan then waited until the elder man opened the door for him, getting out of the car with a still sleeping Riley on his arms.


	15. Chapter 15

Okay I'll go for another chapter :) Hope you like it!

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Chapter 14:

It was actually a good idea that Logan accompanied Keith because the local sheriff (not Lamb) did want details about how he had found out that something was off. Logan told the man that Thomas had looked awful, like he hadn't changed his clothes in a while and that he had smelled of alcohol. He told him that he knew Thomas from when he once visited Veronica in LA and had guessed that he was a friend of hers and he had offered him to crash on his couch. That was when he had seen the crying girl on the backseat of Thomas' car and how he had gotten suspicious because Veronica hat mentioned Riley when he had visited her earlier. The sheriff and Keith Mars listened to him and especially Keith Mars was again surprised about how much he didn't knew about his daughter's life.

Logan then told them about the bruises and that he knew instantly that he had been right: "I know… I can tell which bruises are from falling of the stairs and which you get from being hit!" he said his eyes focusing on the girl again: "She definitely didn't fall of the stairs!"

The sheriff knowing about Logan's background nodded: "That certainly will help getting him locked up thank you Mr. Echolls!" he then focused on Keith Mars: "You better get her checked up, who knows what that bastard has done to her…"

Keith nodded and looked at Logan, he didn't even had to ask it was obvious the young man wouldn't let Riley out of his sight, he was totally engrossed with her. "Logan come on I need this nightmare to be over…" Logan nodded thankful that he did let him accompany him, got up and followed him back to the car.

"Do you think if we're at the hospital that she might be able to stay with Veronica when the check up is over?" he asks.

Keith shakes his head: "I don't think so, hospital rules are pretty strict!" he answers: "But we can still ask them if they would let her, I mean it's almost midnight anyway…" he noticed while checking the clock in the car. "But you can call her, tell her that everything is alright!" he offered and handed him his phone which Logan took thankfully.

He remembered the number he had dialled before and after changing a few words with one of the nurses, telling her that he and Keith Mars will stop by in a few, he was connected with Veronica's room. She picked up almost immediately.

"Dad for God's sake couldn't you call any later?" she asks angry and obviously worried.

"First of all I am not your Dad and second we only have left the police station like two minutes ago and third, I can't think of any third…" he gave in his voice softening then: "Riley's alright, sleeping like an angel, we're on our way to the hospital…"

As soon as Veronica wanted to ask if she really was alright he quipped in: "Don't worry she'll be fine, a few bruises that's it, the sheriff needs the report though!" he explains to her and hears her letting go breath that she's been holding in.

"Uhm Logan?" her voice was low so he almost thought he imagined the words, she sounded sad and her voice was shaking.

"What?" he asks his voice soft, trying to encourage her to tell him whatever it was.

"Tell the doctors that they have to check, they…" she sniffed and took a deep breath: "If he had any sexual contact with her!" she had said it as fast as she could, with her eyes closed. When Logan didn't react at all, she started to explain: "I caught him, the other night, he was…" she bit her lip: "He was touching her and kissed her not in a way he's supposed to kiss her…"

Logan was sitting in the car listening to her words feeling his stomach turn and knot and then he said something he hadn't intended to do but it just slipped out: "How could you let him do that, how could possibly let him do such things to her?" he almost screams in the phone causing Riley to stir. She's the only reason why he calmed down almost instantly. Before Veronica was able to respond in any way he apologized: "Uhm sorry, I am just, that's…"

All he got from her was a heartbreakingly: "I know…"

Veronica felt weird, Logan was looking after his own child without knowing it was his. He was taking care of her… The way he had talked about Riley made her heart melt but it hurt at the same time. If she just would have found the courage to tell him about her pregnancy five years ago, maybe they would have been able to work it out, maybe their life would have turned out a lot better than it has. No she was sure about that, even if she would not be together with Logan Riley would have had the loving father she deserved. "Logan I…" she started but gets disrupted from him.

"Veronica we're here, see you in a few, hopefully!" he said and hung up leaving Veronica starring into the darkness, finishing her sentence without him being able to her it: "need to tell you something…"


	16. Chapter 16

I'll try to get another one done, but I am not sure if I am able to, I only have one hour left so maybe this one is going to be very short, sorry!

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Chapter 15:

Keith and Logan accompanied the little girl while she was checked through by the doctors. When Logan asked the doctors to check also if she was hurt the way Veronica had mentioned, everyone in the room got silent. He starred back at the doctor: "Her mother mentioned seeing him kissing her, pinning her down to the bed…" he explained causing Keith to turn extremely pale now understanding why Logan had screamed at his daughter. How could she possibly let him do this?

The doctor nodded and checked Riley for any kind of injuries, to everyone's relief they weren't able to find any. When the doctor let them dress Riley again Logan asked: "Her mother is here, second floor room 247, can we go visit her despite the odd hour, she has been extremely worried about her girl!" he explained.

The doctor first shook his head but Logan just wouldn't accept a no for an answer. "Please for both of them, haven't they gone through enough?" he asks. He looks at the doctor intently, he would even offer money if that would help but he doesn't have to: "Okay I think in this case we could do this one exception, Ms. Arlington is going to be released tomorrow anyway…" he recalled and Logan nodded.

Keith couldn't believe what just happened. He was sure if he would have been the one asking they wouldn't have given in. He smiled at the younger man: "I think I'll leave you to bring her the good news!" he said smiling: "I'll go home and catch some sleep, tell her I'll stop by tomorrow morning!" Logan nodded.

When Keith almost has left the room he calls out to him: "Mr. Mars?" Veronica's father stopped and turned around, looking at him questioning. "Thanks!" was all Logan then said, smiling: "For everything!"

Keith Mars smiled knowingly: "Just look out for them okay?" he says and Logan was happy to agree.

Riley who was now awake was watching her grandpa leaving clinging on with one hand to Logan's shirt. She was head over heals in love with her saviour. Logan has to smile when he sees it: "Hey little one…" he says realizing they forgot her little rabbit Pinky in the pool house. Hopefully she wouldn't realize he thought silently picking her up: "We're going to see your Mommy now…" he explained to her receiving a broad smile from her: "Mommy!" she exclaimed happily making Logan laugh.

He went upstairs with her, walked down the darkened corridor until he reached room 247. He didn't knock, he opened the door silently. He smiled when he saw Veronica already looking their way. She got out of bed immediately, not caring that she didn't wear socks nor shoes and the floor was more than cold, and run up to him: "Riley…" she exclaimed happily and took the little girl in her arms. "My little redhead…" she whispers in the girl's ear holding her closely, tears streaming down her face: "I was so worried about you!" she confesses.

Riley giggled: "I was so worried about you!" she said matching the tone of her mother's voice.

Logan stood back, observing the scene. He thought about leaving them as this moment seemed much too private.

"Don't you dare!" he heard her say right behind him and he turned around to face her. He had to smile when he saw her standing there with her daughter in her arms. 'Beautiful' he thought. Even though both of them were covered with bruises it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Even though it was obvious that they have gone through horrible things they still were a family, the two of them on their own. They just belonged together and it seemed like nothing could tear them apart.

His heart ached for a family like that, it's what he always had wished for himself. But he also was afraid that it wouldn't work out because as he said to Keith Mars, everyone he loves leaves sooner or later…

He realizes Veronica was watching him, probably thinking about where his thoughts had gone and he was right because in the same second she asked him: "What are you thinking about?"

She had seen the hurt expression on his face, one he barely showed. He wasn't the kind of man who complained about his life, he didn't even tell anyone that he was abused at home, that his father even let him choose the belts with which he was going to hit him. He hadn't even told Duncan, no one…

Looking now into his eyes she could only guess that he was thinking about his family, how destroyed and fucked up it was. She felt sorry for him and guilt was nagging at her and Riley on her arms was like a constant reminder of that guilt. She could have offered him a family, one that would have cared about him…

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Okay I actually didn't want to stop here but I have to cut it down now and get it uploaded before leaving for home… Hope you like where I am taking the family relationship and that I am not totally fucking up with Logan… Do I make him too nice? 


	17. Chapter 17

Okay I again remind you that I am no native English speaker. I only had English at school for like two hours a week and that only for six years and I am out of school for like five years now and I haven't really practiced it since then, dumdidum… So if you see any mistakes, keep them! I am better with German (and French)…

Anyway here you go!

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Chapter 16:

"Uhm Logan I really need to talk to you…" she confessed feeling uneasy. She turned around and sat Riley down on the bed: "Get some sleep darling!" she whispered but Riley now was wide awake and wasn't thinking about getting to sleep at all. Veronica looked at Logan again, only shortly to make sure he was still there. He was and in that moment approached her.

"Come on Riley I'll even tell you a story!" he offered and she grinned up at him, laying down instantly. Veronica was surprised, Riley was never easy to put to bed, never had been. She sat down on the bed as well pulling the sheets over the two of them, now for the first time realizing how cold her feet have become. She shivered and listened to Logan as he told Riley a story she'd never heard of.

He didn't finish it as soon as Riley was soundly asleep he looked up seeing in the questioning eyes of the girl he had missed so much in the past years. "I write books for children, I started when Lilly was little. Duncan said they're great and so I gave it a shot!" he explained. "They actually sell pretty well…" he smirked looking down at Riley: "And they put everyone asleep, except you I guess…"

She has to laugh a little both out of surprise, relieve and God knows what feelings she had felt in that moment. Then Logan grew more earnest again, eying her: "So what's so important you want to talk to me about in the middle of the night?"

That made Veronica's smile fade instantly and she looked down on her hands. She just didn't know how to explain. "Five years ago you showed up in LA!" she said low, her voice suddenly hoarse. Logan was surprised that she wanted to talk about what has happened between the two of them. "Yeah we spent the night, I left, I was a moron!" he quipped in, he didn't want her to blame him, he already had blamed himself enough for that stupid incident. He still couldn't tell why he had left her in the hotel room alone, he didn't know, maybe he was scared, maybe he was angry, maybe…

He realized she hadn't said anything else and that she seemed kind of nervous about what they're talking about. "At the time were you already together with Thomas?" he then asks out of curiosity. Her answer was no and she looked at him. "You were my first!" she confessed adding: "Well if you forget about the one time I can't remember with Duncan!"

Logan wanted to vanish into nothing in that very moment. _'Her first time, oh he certainly had made her remember that one!'_

"I am sorry Ronnie!" he whispered truly being sorry for what he had done to her. "I can't explain why I have left you in that hotel room, I don't know why I did it and I know that I shouldn't have!" he took her hands in his: "I am really sorry!" he said again realizing she was crying now.

"No Logan, I am sorry, I did the most horrible thing I could have done…" she exclaimed taking her hands away from his: "You'll hate me forever for that!" she was now sobbing making Logan even more confused about her reaction.

"Ronnie what's wrong, why, what? I don't hate you!" he exclaimed looking at her. "I can understand that you had to turn me in, it's okay, really…" he said trying to calm her down but somehow he just seemed to make her even more angry with herself.

"No, no, no, don't you understand?" she asks looking at him, hoping she didn't need to say it, hoping he would figure it out by himself.

But his expression was still confused: "Veronica what's going on, please I don't get it…" he then asks low, almost not daring to ask her as she was really starting to freak him out.

She sighed, catching for breath: "That night in LA…" she starts again taking a deep breath: "was the night when…" again she stopped talking, nervously biting her lip. Logan looked at her, looked to her side where Riley was sleeping. 'She could not actually meaning that, or could she?' Logan got pale looked again back at Veronica who finally got the courage to finish the sentence.

"It was the night when Riley was conceived!" she confirmed his thoughts, leaving him speechless.

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Awwwwwwwwww it's out, she told him O.o I'm now wondering how I should go on with this story, dumdidum, argh I have no clue... 


	18. Chapter 18

Sorry I haven't updated yesterday I really had to think about where I want this story to go but I guess I figured it out by now so I'll try get over my little writer's block and just type ahead!

Thanks again for the wonderful reviews!

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Chapter 17:

He was just starring at her, then down at 'HIS' daughter. Riley was HIS daughter. Veronica had lied to him for five years, well not exactly lied to him but it was equally bad, or even worse... She had not told him that he got her pregnant, nor did she tell him when Riley was born, he had known nothing at all…

It hurt, didn't she trust him or what, did she think he would have been a horrible father, more horrible than Thomas? Did she really think of him that way? Or was she head over heels in love with Thomas and didn't want him to come between them?

He wanted to say something, anything, he opened his mouth several time just to close it again at the lack of words.

Veronica was starring at him with tears in her eyes: "Logan I am sorry, please, I am sorry!" she repeated it like a mantra and then tried to take his hand in hers.

That made Logan come back to his senses and he jumped, away from her. "Don't touch me!" he spat receiving a hurt frown from her.

"Logan please I am sorry, I can't take it back, I can't, I would do things differently this time but I can't, I am sorry that you've missed so much in her life but…" she wanted to explain how she had felt, why she hadn't been able to tell him back when she had found out and why she hadn't told him anything the past four years.

Logan disrupted her: "You should be, your husband has abused MY little girl, he touched her the way no one should and you let him do that! YOU let him do that! What was it, did you think he would make a better father? Did you seriously think he would make you happy, the way we were? How dare you compare the two of us!" he accused her of many more things than he actually wanted. He was hurt and the only thing he knew to protect himself was hurting back and he certainly did.

Veronica sat there biting her lover lip trying to hold back the tears. He destroyed the little hope she had cherished over the years. The hope that once she would have the courage to tell him they will end up together, that he might propose to her as Thomas had. It was obvious that Logan didn't think of these things. He probably again wished she was dead or something more horrible…

Riley stirred, she had been woken by Logan's loud screaming. She sat up and cuddled closer to her mother: "Don't hit her please!" she whispered staring at Logan in fear.

Logan froze staring at her: "Great!" he said looking at Veronica: "Now she thinks I am a bastard like Thomas, who she probably still calls Daddy!" The hurt was evident in his eyes and Veronica wanted to make it go away but knew she couldn't.

When she didn't say a word Logan straightened, still looking in her eyes and with all the courage he could muster, the hurt and anger inside him, he leashed out, made her feel what he felt in that very moment: "You know what I am going to do?" he asked, starring at her: "I am going to make sure that she never has to see that bastard again!" with that he turned around and walked to the door. Just before opening it he stopped, not turning around, staring at the grey wooden door he added: "You'll be hearing from my lawyers!"

Veronica paled, starring at his back: "Logan!" she exclaimed and was out of her bed instantly: "You can't do this, you can't take her away from me, please, she's everything I got left!"

He turned around, his face a perfect mask of stone.

"You'll see what I am able to do Ms. Arlington!" he said calm before leaving her for good, closing the door behind him.

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So good or bad shocker? Evil grin here :) 


	19. Chapter 19

For the next chapters, just keep in mind that I am a LoVe-shipper!

Even though it might look differently at some points of this story :)

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Chapter 18: 

The next morning started awful for Veronica. Having not had much sleep she was being woken up by a police officer at 8 o'clock. He asked her questions about her life with Thomas, what she had seen him doing to Riley and what he had done to her. He pleaded her to say the truth and not hold back at all.

But Veronica felt now, after Logan's outburst, even more ashamed and guilty for what has happened. Also she feared that whatever she now told the police could be held against her if Logan really would take this to court, if he really would want to take Riley away from her. She still hoped it was just some way to get back to her, as he'd been angry and hurt but she wasn't so sure, not after the way he had looked at her, the way he had said her name…

She watched Riley who was still asleep next to her, the thought of loosing her had freaked her out, the thought of her being with Thomas even more. But the thought of loosing her to Logan was even worse. Not because she feared he would do her any harm, she was sure he would make a wonderful father after she had observed him with Riley, just because she knew she couldn't do anything to stop him.

With Thomas she had known that she will get her daughter back because he did not have the right to keep Riley away from her. The law, the police, her father everyone had been on her side. But Logan did have that right, he was her father and she guessed that the law, after what happened, probably would judge him more dependable than her. The possibility that they will take Riley away from her so she would grow up safely and well-clothed was in her eyes too big.

'_Money! It always comes back to money! And Logan certainly has enough of it. Yeah he probably will have the best lawyers from the county or even the best ones from the whole west coast, he'll make sure she'll lose that case!' _she thought bitterly and angry._ 'How could he do thisto Riley, to me, haven't we suffered enough?'_

Protectively she had wrapped her arms around the little girl when her father bolted in with the horrible news: "Veronica please tell me Logan's not Riley's father!"

Veronica had looked up and replied sadly: "He is, why?"

Keith Mars stared at her in shock: "You have to be kidding me!" he plumbed down in the chair next to Veronica's bed, noticing that she cradled her child closer instantly.

"How do you know!" she asks fearing his answer: "Has Logan…" she didn't finish her sentence but her father spoke out the awful truth.

"... filed for taking custody of Riley? Yes he did!" he looked at his daughter with a hurt and yet pitying expression.

"Why did you keep that to yourself, for all those years, even after Thomas started to hit you and Riley, why haven't you just left him, come back home?" he asks accusing her of the mistakes she knew she had made.

She didn't have an answer and she did feel sorry, but she couldn't just go back in time and do things differently.

"He left me at the hotel!" she tried to defend herself. "He just left without a note or anything and we weren't really on speaking terms!"

Her father frowned: "I don't think that this will help you in front of the court!"

"He can't take her Dad, please, she's all I got left, she always had been all I got left from him, he can't take her as well! Besides Riley doesn't even know him, she doesn't know that he's her father! How can I explain to her that she won't see me again even though she's my everything!" Tears started to well up in her eyes and fall down her cheeks.

Keith embraced her, hugged her, tried to calm her down.

"I am sorry darling!" he whispered, he didn't want to upset her but the news that Thomas was not Riley's father had shocked him.

The fact that Logan was and that she has lied to him and everyone else hurt.

"Did anyone else know that Thomas was not Riley's father?" Veronica shook her head: "No one except me and him, he proposed to me when I found out, he had promised to be there for me, something I didn't think Logan would after he had left me at that hotel room!" she confessed and Keith nodded, understandingly.

"You know that the only way you'll be able to keep Riley for sure is talking to Logan. If he really takes this to court your chances to win are very small! But you two are adults, you should be able to work something out if not for the two of you then for Riley!" he said lecturing. "No matter what has happened between the two of you, you've got a child that really needs both of you and all the love she can get, please Veronica talk to him and make this right, I don't want to loose my grandchild or my daughter again, and I want to see you smile again, the way things are now…" he shook his head.

Veronica sniffed, nodding. Her father was right, she knew he was. If it just wouldn't be that complicated…


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 19:

That day Veronica was able to leave the hospital. Meg and Wallace came to pick her up but she insisted on staying with her father which he was very happy about. Wallace and Meg did understand but didn't leave until they've made sure that she didn't need anything whith which they would be able to help.

In the afternoon finally everything was settled but Veronica didn't allow herself to rest. She looked at her father who insisted she'd stay in bed. "No I won't! I have waited long enough to tell him about her, I am not going to back down now!" Keith knew that this was Veronica Mars and not Veronica Arlington, the girl he had got to know the past day. This girl didn't take no as an answer so he gave in: "But I'll drive you!" he insisted.

So 20 minutes later he stopped in front of the Echoll's Estate only reluctantly letting his daughter leave with Riley. "Call me if you need a ride back okay!" he called after her, only receiving a weary smile from his daughter.

Logan was standing at the window, saw her getting of Keith's car, helping her daughter to get out of the car. It was hard for him to think of her as his own child. Everytime he thought of her he thought of Veronica's daughter, just as he had before she had told him. But watching her he again saw how much she resembled him as well. The red hair a combination of his and Veronica's, the blue eyes with the brown sparkles...

'_Luckily she resembles Veronica more than me!'_ he thought smiling. Then he asked himself what she wanted from him, probably talking, was he in the mood to talk? Not really! He was still starring down at her when he suddenly realized that she was starring back up at him. Immediately he backed away from the window, his heart racing his breath going just like he had run around for a while. How she had looked up at him had reminded him of their first kiss, when she had looked up at him just right before she had gotten into her car…

Veronica had not anticipated that reaction but she was obstinately. She had made up her mind and she wouldn't back away. She had promised herself for Riley's sake not to make such stupid mistakes again. She finally had to face him, talk to him, scream at him, she had to be the old Veronica again...

She took her daughters hand and walked on right to the door where she rang the bell, almost instantly she heard his voice through the door: "Leave Veronica I don't want to talk to you, if you have something that needs to be said, tell my lawyer!"

Veronica didn't say a word she just rang the doorbell again, and again, and again… After a while Riley looked up at her mother. "No one's opening why are you ringing the bell so many times?"

Veronica kept ringing it and looked down at her daughter smiling: "Because I know that Logan's home and I need him to listen to me!" she explained knowing that Logan probably was able to hear her. "And don't you want to hear another story of his?" she asks and the girl starts jumping up and down next to her: "Let me ring the bell too!" she screams exitedly and Veronica stopped ringing the bell just for a second to pick her daughter up.

Just right when Riley wanted to press the bell button Logan started talking. Riley hesitated realizing it was a story he started to tell. She looked up at her mother: "Mommy he's telling me a story…" she exclaimed happily and Veronica nodded. "Seems like you have a place in his heart Sweety!" she says, carressing her hair and let her down again. Logan had stopped, hearing them talk: "Do you want me to go on Riley?" he asks and the little girl nodded, causing Veronica to smile: "What did I tell you about nodding?" she asks and Logan was able to hear a sudden: "YES!"

He had to smile, that little girl certainly was a smart kid. He was sitting on the floor with his back leaning against the door. He didn't care that his housemaid was looking at him strangely and started to tell Riley a story. But it wasn't really a story, it was more like his own life wrapped up into a story…

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Okay that story I just have to write it but it will take me some time lol But I can just picture the situation, awww how romantic, hehe… 


	21. Chapter 21

So here's the story Logan tells his little girl through a closed door and a sappy turn in the story of Logan and Veronica, sniff, ahhhhh so sad and yet sooooooo romantic, sigh… And soooooo long, hehe for once, well I guess it's not really that long but longer than all the other chapters I have written so far...

Ahhh enough blabbering, just enjoy it :) One chapter I am really content with...

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Chapter 20:

"There was a prince that had fallen in love with a very, very beautiful princess. Her blond hair shone golden in the sun and her eyes were of some beautiful sparkling blue. She had been the only one looking at him not seing the prince in him but the little boy he was. That impressed him a lot so they became friends. They grew up and one day the prince found out that the princess was already in love. The prince's best friend who was taller and handsomer and more intelligent than than the prince." he paused hearing Riley rushing him to go on. She liked the story and that made Logan smile.

Veronica had sat down and was now leaning against the door as she imagined him doing it. She had cradled Riley on her lap caressing her hair, smiling at what Logan told her daughter.

She hadn't known that he had fallen in love with her then but she could remember the first time she had seen him. He was with his parents who were surrounded by fans and everyone had wanted to talk to him just because his father was that famous actor everyone was talking about. Veronica hadn't cared, she had stood away from the crowd, observing them silently. That was when he had spotted her, a skinny little boy with reddish hair…

"The prince was very sad but he he started at least becoming friends with the beautiful princess. Then he got to know the princess' best friend and he was amazed by her. She was beautiful and outgoing and she made the prince forget about the sad things in her life. But hapiness wasn't a thing the prince was able to feel for very long. At home his parents had been cruel, they weren't nice. The king was a very angry man and he had made the prince's life very hard. So the prince spent more and more time with the best friend of his princess as she always found a way to cheer him up. But then one day the best friend of the princess died, they were all very sad and their lifes changed a lot."

Veronica feld bad, she hadn't realized what was going on at Logan's home, no one had, not even Lilly had known what Logan's father had done to him. Looking down at her daughter she found her sleeping in her arms, she has to smile but doesn't say anything to Logan, she wished him to go on with the story.

"The prince started to become quiet and mean as for he had noone to cheer him up anymore. The relationship between the princess and the other prince also broke apart. It was like that girl had taken all the happyness with her. Then one day when the princess was kidnapped by a big bad dragon the prince went to her rescue and she had kissed him grateful for his help. That was when they fell in love for each other and started spending more and more time together, planning their future. But the prince never has had the right to be happy so again the princess left him which made the prince bitter and angry. When he saw her some time later with some other man, not a rich man without anything to give her, he was jealous and he had kidnapped her…" there Logan stopped leaving Veronica breathless.

She hadn't known that even she hadn't been with Thomas back then Logan had been jealous of him. As Logan didn't go on with the story Veronica quipped in: "But the princess wasn't in love with that man, she had fallen for the prince and seeing him again made her very, very happy. They have spent one night together, enjoyed just to be together but again it ended too soon."

Logan had closed his eyes, was listening to her voice and when she came to the point where he had left he started talking again: "The prince was afraid that again it will end badly, that again the princess will choose someone else over him as he knew he hadn't deserved her and left in that night while the princess was still sleeping. He was sad and mourned for monthes, years, never being happy again as in that one night!"

Veronica had tears in her eyes, she held on to her daughter and whispered: "I am sorry Logan…" But she didn't receive an answer. She sighed and repeated it, this time louder: "Logan, please talk to me, I am sorry, I am so sorry but I can't turn back time even I want to so badly. If I'd just known why you had left, but I was so scared and hurt that you did. And then I found out that I was pregnant, I even considered an abortion, I was so young, I haven't finished college nor did I have a job, I was so scarred and confused and hurt…" her voice broke remembering the time. "I wished every day that you just happen to show up, take me in your arms, tell me that everything was going to be alright, but you didn't, you just left and coming back just wasn't an option, I don't even remember why, I was stupid, so stupid but there I was, 19 years old and pregnant. I couldn't go through with an abortion because she was everything you left me, that child was everything that made me going. Then Thomas proposed to me, he promised me so many things, beautiful things like a true family, someone who will take care of me and my child, our child. It was the easiest way, I for once just took the easiest way out…"

As she wasn't leaning against the door anymore she hadn't noticed him opening it, looking at her. He didn't touch her but observed her. He just needed to see her, needed to see if she didn't play with him, with his feelings. Seeing her cry made him feel guilty again, maybe filing for custody wasn't one of his brightest ideas. He knew he should have been the one promising her all the things she had wanted back when she found out that she was pregnant. But he hadn't been there, he hadn't known and he couldn't blame her with everything. He was the one who had left, if he had stayed it wouldn't have turned out this way, it probably wouldn't.

"I, I just wish I would have been there, when she was born, seeing her grow up, hearing her first word, seeing her first steps…" he wispered right behind her causing Veronica to flinch and then look at him with tears in her eyes.

"You don't know how much I wished you were actually there with me when she did!" she says: "Every day when I woke up I was hoping the man lying beside me would be you and not him and when she started calling him Dad, it just felt wrong, I wanted it to be you so badly…" she confessed looking him in the eyes, pleading. She just hoped he'd believe her. "I always wanted it to be you…" she repeated almost so low that she couldn't say if she really said it out loud. "Please Logan forgive me, forgive me for not telling you!" she urged on: "Please!" she begged crying.

Logan just couldn't hold back the tears anymore, seing her so vulnerable, crying and begging him, he just couldn't stand it. Everything he always wanted was to protect her. Protect that vulnerable girl behind the though mask she had been wearing and now all he ended up doing was hurting her, as he always had.

"I'll call my lawyer…" he wispered softly earning a relieved sob from Veronica. But it wasn't what Veronica really wanted: "Don't!" she said surprising herself: "It's Thomas name that is written in her birth certificate, I want that to change, I want your name written there!" she explained. "But please don't take her away from me, please!" she looked at him and Logan shook his head: "I never intended on filing for sole custody Veronica!" he explained low. "Riley needs you, her mother…" he wasn't standing anymore but sitting on the floor as she was, looking her in the eyes. _'And I need you!'_ he added in his thoughts, but he wasn't ready to tell her that, not yet…

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I LOVE REVIEWS lol 


	22. Chapter 22

Ding dong another chapter's out, hehe! Thanks again for your wonderful reviews, I can't believe I already have 75 reviews even though I mostly post my chapters three in a row… Ahhhh I love you guys, you'll always make my day more bearable :)

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Chapter 21:

Somehow - even Veronica had refused at first - Logan has managed to take her to his bedroom to get some rest. There he ordered her to stay put in bed until he would get Riley who had been woken by the two of them earlier and was now exploring Logan's home. When he came back Veronica was already asleep and Logan placed his little girl next to her and put the sheets over the two of them telling Riley she should sleep as well.

"I want you to tell me a story!" she said and looked at him pleadingly and Logan smiled, this time telling her one of the stories he had written earlier for Lilly. It didn't take long until Riley as well was soundly asleep in his bed. He was still sitting on the bed, caressing Riley's hair, observing the two of them. An unknown feeling of happiness and content settled over him, making him feel extremely rich and loved. Tears started to well up in his eyes while he realized that this was everything he had wished for, everything he had dreamt of for a very long time.

He was now caressing Veronica's cheek, she looked so peaceful now, the frown and the hurt look was gone and on her lips played a small content smile that made his heart jump excitedly: "I love you Veronica Mars!" he whispered: "I always have and I always will…" He was glad she didn't hear it, he wasn't ready to face it officially, wasn't ready to talk to her about his feelings, about what she really meant to him. He guessed with her it probably was the same. So many awful things had happened between the two of them that they would need time to get adjusted with this new situation.

Still he didn't leave her, just sat there watching the two women who owned his heart until sleep caught him off guard and he plumbed down onto the bed, his hand still on Veronica's cheek…

When Veronica woke up later that day she didn't know where she was at first, then realized Logan lying half on top of her and her daughter staring at her smiling: "Morning Mommy!" she exclaims but in a very low voice pointing at Logan: "He's still sleeping!" she whispers.

Veronica smiles nodding: "Riley I've got something to talk to you about!" she said looking at her daughter with a stern expression on her face. "You remember when I told you two days ago that Daddy is not really your Daddy?" she asked her receiving a nod. She has to smile and was pointing at Logan: "He is!" she said.

Riley looked at Veronica and then at Logan: "So I can call him Daddy and not Logan?"

Veronica again: "Yeah if you want to!" she smiled at the smile on her daughters face. "So do we want to wake Daddy?" she asks receiving a low giggle from her daughter. She was amazed at how fast Riley had changed. Back in LA with Thomas she had been all shy and nervous around people she didn't know. But since Thomas wasn't around anymore and Logan had taken her under his wings she seemed like every other four year old girl. Veronica sat up indicating Riley to do the same and then she started tickling Logan, Riley doing the same.

While Veronica didn't say a word Riley screamed flutteringly: "Daddy, Daddy wake up, wake up Daddy…"

Logan blinked confused and grabbed Riley almost instantly, tickling her back, then he heard her call him Daddy and he froze, just enjoying the giggling sound of her calling him so. He looked at Veronica who was smiling at the two of them with tears in her eyes. He looked down at Riley smiling broadly a thought forming in his mind. He didn't want to miss any more things in the life of this little girl, not a second. He calmed her down, placing little butterfly kisses on her cheeks, talking to her low: "Riley I need to talk to your Mommy for an instant, would you mind leaving us a second?" he looked at her.

The little girl looked at her mother and then back to her father a frown on her face: "But don't make Mommy cry!" she pleaded and Veronica was with Riley almost instantly.

"Riley he's not like Thomas, he won't make you cry, he won't make me cry the way he did, I promise!"

Logan also reassured her: "I promise Riley and later we can go get your little Mr. Pinky okay?" he offered and with that Riley left the two of them.

Logan watched her walking away and then looked at Veronica, nervously trying to find the courage to ask her what he intended to. She eyed him curiously and so he just blurted it out: "I want you to move in with me, you both!" It was out and he hoped she would say yes but she didn't, not right away so Logan felt like he had to justify his plea.

"I know you can stay with your father as long as you like and that he's pleased to have you back but I've missed so many things in Riley's life I don't want to miss any more of it. I want to have her here when I wake up in the morning and I want to bring her to bed in the evenings and this house is certainly big enough for the three of us! Please move in with me!" he again pleaded.

"Logan I don't want to rush things, I don't know after all that has happened between us…" she mused.

Logan quipped in: "You're going to get your own room, or the pool house, if you need some place away from me, that's okay, I just won't let you go and walk out of my life again, I won't do the same mistake again!" he insisted and he reached her with that because the next thing he knew was that Veronica's arms were wrapped around him and that she hugged him, sobbing silently but with a big smile on her face.

He hold her in his arms, just enjoying the feeling of being close to her again. "I know a lot has happened between the two of us but I want us to try, just give it a shot…" he whispered in her ear causing her to hug him tighter. He didn't know if this was a yes but he certainly hoped it was…


	23. Chapter 23

Sorry I haven't updated this weekend but I figured as I am soon coming to an end I'll save these last chapters for work, where I am bored to death and have nothing else to do…

Well anyway I promise you that by the end of this week this story will be completed… Do you think I could hit the 100 reviews mark until then? That would be amazing :)

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Chapter 22:

They parted a few minutes later on when Riley peeked through the door, asking why she had to leave when they didn't even talked. It made both laugh and Veronica called her daughter over who jumped over excitedly on the bed and snuggled herself in between the two of them.

"So Riley do you like this house?" Veronica asks her little daughter.

"It's huge!" was Riley's only reply, grinning broadly. Logan chuckled at the little girl's remark and hoped that the next question was if she wanted to live with him and he wished for her to say yes. Yet he wished that Riley's answer wasn't the only reason why Veronica would move in with him.

"Do you want to have a huge room of your own?" he hears Veronica asking her daughter who stars at her with a stunned expression on her face.

"One of Daddy's rooms?" she turned her attention to him and he nodded: "You can choose one, we can go walk around and you can choose your room!" he offered turning to Veronica: "You too!" he said and hoped her choice wouldn't happen to be one too far away from him.

Veronica nodded: "Okay let's do it, right?" she waited for her daughter's agreement which she didn't get.

Instead Riley's hand wandered into Veronica's and the little girl started pulling her mother out of the bed, then clasping Logan's with her other hand, making him follow her as well. "I want the hugest room there is!" she said laughing: "So huge…" she said looking around trying to decide which direction they should go first.

Logan had to smile and looked at Veronica who happened to do the same: "She's incredible!" he whispered and got a nod from her in response. Logan hadn't felt happy like this in, forever, he thought and watched his little girl walk through the corridors looking into every room she found.

Veronica didn't say a word, she just observed the situation and felt somehow relieved but also worried. What if it didn't work out. What if they didn't work out and he started seeing someone else. Would she be able to handle him dating other girls? No, the answer was a certain no! She looked at him again: "If us is not going to work out, what then?" she asks out of the blue what was going on in her mind.

Logan looked at her, saw the fear in her eyes and the only thing he could think of, the only answer he had for this question surprised him and it equally surprised her: "We're going to make this work, I won't let you leave me again Veronica Mars!" he had stopped walking, Veronica had as well and they starred at each other. Riley complained loudly but none of them realized so she trailed of by herself, went finding herself a new room.

After a moment of silence and searching each others eyes for any hint of love, still being totally insecure about them, Logan broke the silence: "Do you think you could love me again?" His voice low so he wasn't really sure if she had heard him, when her lips were on his, he assumed she had, or she had just been brave enough to kiss him like that.

Even though he was taken by surprise he kissed her back instantly, enveloping her in his arms, taking her in, feeling so relieved and exited like he hadn't felt in years. When they broke the kiss to catch for some breath Veronica was looking up at him, smiling: "I can't love you again Logan!" That shocked the hell out of him and he let go of her instantly, but she didn't let go of him: "I can't because I never stopped loving you!" she whispered calming him down again, tears in her eyes: "I always loved you, and only you. Thomas and I were friends, nothing more… I never even had sex with Thomas until…" her voice trailed of, he didn't really had to know details about her marriage, did he!

Logan didn't even realize the meaning of her words, all that echoed in his mind was, that she loved him, still… He pulled her in for another kiss, this one more passionate and demanding When they again broke the kiss Logan smiled: "Would you mind choosing my bedroom?" he asks.

Veronica has to smile at that: "I won't you little naughty boy!" she replied happily, all the bad memories got lost on her in that moment and she felt saver than she had in years, having his arms wrapped protectively around her.

"Lets go find Riley…" he proposed: "We'll have enough time to celebrate tonight when she's sleeping!" he added sheepishly causing her to laugh out loud.


	24. Chapter 24

This one's for Nina and MissLindsey :) Sorry that it's kind of a summary… I am not good in writing about good times, I love angst a lot more…

Totally evil here, muahahaha!

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Chapter 23:

The next few days flew by quickly. Logan had helped Veronica with the dissolving of her old household in LA, paying for it pretty much covered it as they spent the whole time together as a family while some firm took care of the relocation. The three of them enjoyed every minute together and spent their time decorating Riley's new room and some parts of the houses. They finally and completely got rid of every piece that reminded them of Aaron, Logan's father and soon the Echoll's Estate was a more welcoming and homelike place than it ever had been in the years before.

Logan was glad about that change, he had thought of it so many times but somehow never found the time and guts to finally get rid of the past. Together with Veronica it was done easily and quickly. And it also was symbolic as they had promised each other to just forget the past and to concentrate on them, on Riley and their future together.

When they came to take the closet where his father had kept the belts, Veronica hadn't said anything she just wrapped her tiny arms around him showing him her support and that she was there with him. Even though she was a lot smaller than him and not as strong as he was, he still felt save and protected. He was so happy with the new situation he couldn't even put it in words. As there wasn't a word that summed it up how he felt, even the words 'I love you' felt too small for the feelings he had for his Ronnie and his daughter Riley…

They took it slow, kissing was okay but Logan insisted that they would wait until Veronica would be ready for more. She wasn't, not just yet and Logan had been very understanding as soon as he had found out about what Thomas had done to Veronica when he exceptionally hasn't hit her…

They were happy, all three of them, enjoying the new life and it's advantages. But reality caught up with them fast, faster than they had expected it.

It was a letter from the court addressed to Ms. Veronica Arlington. An invitation for her to appear as a witness in the case of the abuse of Riley Arlington and herself. Since that letter Veronica's happiness was gone, even though Logan tried everything to cheer her up Veronica became more and more silent and thoughtful and also nervous, even though everyone assured her that she doesn't have to be.

Logan was angry that she let that come to her and when he realized that she felt guilty and that she didn't really want to tell the court to put Thomas behind bars he was furious.

He had a hard time explaining her that what Thomas had done was not to be taken easily, that he has to be penalized for what he had done to Riley and also to her. He hated that man and he did want him behind bars but Veronica still remembered him as the good friend he had been before Riley was born and felt bad about it. They started fighting about this subject, every now and then until it got out of hand.

As always when Logan and Veronica fought they hurt each other more than they actually intended to. They screamed and blamed each other with things that they have decided to leave in the past. But obviously couldn't!

It all ended with Veronica moving out and her staying with her father until the day came, where she had to face Thomas again. She still visited the Echoll's Estate but only to meet up with her daughter who didn't understand the changes at all and was very sad that her mother has left her and her father alone in the big house.

Riley had loved the times where they had been together, her parents kissing and snuggling all the time. She had been so happy about seeing her mother smile and laugh again and now every time she saw her she again had teary eyes and that made the little girl very unhappy. Logan as well, he had tried to apologize but Veronica had just looked at him, hurt and sad: "I have to sort things out first, I am sorry!" she had apologized and had left again.

Logan could understand that she needed some sort of closure but he wanted to support her as she had done when he had trouble digesting the things his father had done. It broke his heart seeing her so tired and worn out every time she came to visit her daughter. That's when he decided to go with her to court no matter how many times she would tell him to piss off, which was what she had told him when he had announced it to her. But he didn't let her impress him, make him back away, he just looked at her stubbornly: "Please Ronnie, I won't say a word, just let me be with you as you have been with me. Please don't take this burden alone, let me in…" he had whispered in her ear, hugging her tightly: "Please let me be there for you!" he pleaded and that was when she had given in.

So when the day of the trial came, Logan drove over with Lilly on the backseat to pick Veronica up. Alicia had agreed on watching the little girl while Logan and Keith would accompany Veronica to the court…


	25. Chapter 25

Okay so now on to the court and let her confess everything Thomas had done and what he didn't do...  
Well I don't know if this is just because I am European and have a slight different look at the world but I won't put Thomas behind bars, he will be punished but he won't go to jail because I don't think it's where he belongs... Despite the awful things he did!

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Chapter 24:

When they arrived at the court there were Wallace and Meg waiting as well as Duncan and Trina who wanted to show their support to their friend. But Veronica wasn't really happy about it, she didn't even like her father and Logan being there for her support. She hated telling the judge what Thomas had done while they would be able to listen. She never talked about these things mostly because she still felt terribly guilty about letting him do this things and for making Thomas suffer so he had started with the drinking.

She didn't say a word to any of them and she hadn't talked to Logan since they have left the house but she let him wrap his arms protectively around her. That felt good, to have him here, she had to admit even though she didn't want him there really. If they just could wait outside until she was done.

Just a few minutes later the lawyer from a high prized firm came in and said hello to Veronica telling her that he will make sure Thomas will get the deserved punishment. Shocked she turned to Logan who already took a step back at the look she gave him: "Out of here Logan, we spoke about this, I have no intention on, just get out of here, now!" she screamed, everyone was surprised and looked at her in disbelief. They didn't follow her trail of thoughts, found it rather confusing.

Logan angry that she was making him look bad in front of all this people hissed back: "Ronnie he's my lawyer and I hired him so he'll do everything that needs to be done so MY daughter won't have to see that bastard again!"

Veronica turned pale: "Your daughter right, because I am not a good enough mother or what? I love her - god damn it - I lay in bed for almost the whole pregnancy so she'll be okay, I took care of her, I was there for her the whole time and so was Thomas! My husband was a wonderful father you know, he even got up in the night to take care of her so I would be able to sleep some, he was a great father!" she looked at him angrily and stressed the words husband and father just so it will hurt him. "Yeah he has done a lot of wrong things but he only did them when he was drunk, God knows you have done stupid things being drunk!" she looked at Duncan: "And you, you slept with me thinking I am your sister, don't you see it? Thomas is not a bad man, he needs help not 20 or more years in prison!" with that she turned away, shaking from the anger looking straight into his eyes, Thomas eyes and he smiled wearily.

"Hey Veronica!" he said not daring to look into the others eyes but he had heard what she had said and he was relieved and so he addressed only her: "How's Riley?" he asks the next thing he realizes is being pulled back against a wall with a very angry and hurt Logan in front of him.

"Don't you dare saying MY daughter's name again!" he hissed.

Thomas who was being strangled by Logan chocked helplessly: "I am sorry, God damn it I am sorry!" was all he said.

Veronica rolled her eyes, she didn't even bother to part the two man instead she entered the court room all by herself, leaving the whole mob behind. She sat down on one of the chairs and buried her face in her hands. She hadn't noticed it but the lawyer had followed her and sat down next to her: "So whenever he hurt you and the girl he was drunk?" he asks with a voice that was all business.

Veronica nodded sadly: "And it's my fault he started drinking, he loves me, he always has that's why he has proposed to me when I found out that I was pregnant. I thought it would be easy and I tried to pretend that I am happy but I guess after three years of marriage without even having sex was too much for him to take…" she smiled wearily. Guess it was just too much to take…" she sighed: "So you can as well put me in jail because I am the one that has caused all this problems…"

The lawyer shook his head: "No that won't help anyone!" he smiled placing a supporting hand on her shoulder: "But I think in this case I won't do what Mr. Echolls wants, put Mr. Arlington behind bars wouldn't help anyone either… I have a plan, just trust me and tell the truth when they ask you to! Besides maybe it's good if you just once talk about this, about everything. It helps, I promise and your friends and your father, I think they all want and need to hear is what has happened to you…"

Veronica had listened to the lawyer silently and there was some truth to his words, she knew that, but she didn't know if she could talk about it knowing they'll hear everything. She was afraid that they would decide that she needs to be put in jail, that she needs to be punished, and she feared that Logan would - after hearing everything - take away her little girl so she won't be able to see her anymore… She knew she had done mistakes but she just couldn't lose her daughter!


	26. Chapter 26

I can't believe it, you guys, gosh, YOU ROCK! Thanks for the wonderful reviews, I am so exited about the number 100, I really have a 100 reviews!

Dancing around here, oh well I would want to but I am at work, would be embarrassing. Hehe but my thoughts are dancing :)

Sorry this chapter is kind of short, but I will be another update today, promise!

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Chapter 25: 

Outside of the courtroom Logan was still fighting with Thomas when Keith finally managed to part them.

"Veronica is gone and you better get things sorted out with her and not him or do you want Riley visiting you in jail?" he asks his voice stern and calm. "Because that's what will happen if you are going to hurt him!" he tried to talk sense into the angry young man and it worked.

Logan glared at Thomas, angry: "Don't ever get near one of them again!" he hissed and with that he left the small group to calm down, because if he would go and see Veronica now he was certain it would end in another fight.

Keith looked at Thomas: "And you better do what he says!" he said: "Or I will come after you as well!" with that he looked at the other four friends of Veronica. "Lets go inside!" he proposed and they followed him without saying a word.

Only Duncan stayed, waiting for his best friend, approaching him: "Hey man…" he said and Logan turned around.

"I want to kill him, for what he did to her, to Riley, I really want to kill him…" he muttered glaring in Thomas direction. "You know we haven't had sex except that one time when Riley was conceived, she drives me crazy but she's afraid, somehow, whatever he had done to her, he really…" he went quiet shaking his head in disbelief. "She never even told me what it was what he actually had done to her, except the hitting which was obvious…"

Duncan sighed: "She has not talked with anyone about that time!" He looks at his friend: "Give her time she'll come around but the more you'll push her the more she'll push you, she's not one to back down easily!"

Logan laughed bitterly: "That's what I always thought but look what she had let him do to her and she still protects him when he has no right to be protected…" He shakes his head again: "I just don't understand!"

"You should though, you're the one that has been agonized with hits of belts like every other day and you haven't told anyone about it!" Duncan quipped in and that made Logan go silent, suddenly he started to understand that maybe there was more to it than just the abuse, maybe she felt like she deserved this, maybe…

Logan became extremely pale and remembered her telling him that he didn't deserve a treatment like this, and he never had told her that she didn't deserve it either. No one ever tried to talk to her about this as they just assumed that she didn't want to talk about it. "Oh my God!" he whispered leaving Duncan at a loss.

When Logan started walking to the courtroom his friend followed, hoping he wouldn't do anything stupid, but the expression on Logan's face was determined and that made Duncan fear for his friend. "Please Logan don't do anything stupid!" he pleaded which made Logan stop in his tracks.

"I have been stupid and I am going to make this up to her!" he said turning around to face his friend: "Thanks Duncan, for letting me see…" A small smile played on his lips and Duncan felt relieved.

"You got me worried man!" Duncan said smiling as well. "Thought you're going to kill Thomas right away or something like that!"

Logan shook his head and shrugged his shoulders: "Wouldn't help Veronica!"

Together they enter the courtroom realizing everyone was already inside and that the hearing was about to begin…


	27. Chapter 27

Okay first of all I am going to apologize! I have no clue how trials are being held in the US, well I watch TV now and then but still, no clue here so this is all just fiction, totally… Okay and as for this chapter Thomas gets away really good just keep in mind that Veronica hasn't finished her story...

Okay so here's…

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Chapter 26:

Veronica had turned around and saw Logan entering with Duncan trailing behind. Nervously she bit down her lower lip. What if he'll blame her after this, what if he just stopped loving her. She didn't think she could deal with that, live without him anymore. She was surprised when he looked her in the eyes and a smile, that smile he only wore for her, played on his lips. Her heart sped up just a little and she wished he could be right there next to her. But he wasn't allowed to, he had to take a seat in the visitor area. She sighed and turned her attention to the now entering judge.

First all the talking was done by her lawyer and then Thomas defender. It was very quiet in the room and Veronica hated it. This nervous silence that has settled over the room made her feel uneasy steadily thinking of what she was going to do. Then suddenly she was put back into reality feeling her lawyer's hand on her shoulder: "Just tell them your mind!" he said low nodding to the table and chair that were placed directly in front of the judge.

She got up, unsteady, looking over to Thomas, trying to put on a smile but she failed. When she pulled out the chair the sound it make was horrible loud so she flinched but then sat down, looking up at the judge uneasily.

Logan could tell that Veronica wasn't feeling well, that she fought a fight with herself and he felt bad as he wasn't there to support her, but maybe she really had to fight this alone, maybe it was the only way they could finally move on. He certainly hoped it would help her!

The judge, a woman about 40 years smiled encouragingly at her, she asked if Veronica's details were right and when Veronica agreed to everything she lay down the paper where they were written on it and picked up her glasses to polish them: "So Ms. Arlington, would you mind telling us the whole story, what exactly has your husband done to you and your daughter!" the judge asks placing her glasses on her nose again, looking at the blond girl curiously.

Veronica hesitated a second, looked down on her hands: "I think first you have to know that Riley, my daughter is not Thomas Arlington's real child. I was 19 years old when I found out that the man I loved hooked me up in a night we have spent both being wasted and parting badly. I didn't think we could ever make it work, it was everything so complicated, our past and I have lost my faith totally. Then there was Thomas, at that time he was the best and probably only friend I had, I knew he had a thing for me since we first met but I also knew that I could never feel the same for him. Still after I have told him everything, about being pregnant and I told him a lot, I was so scarred, I didn't know if I should have this baby, I mean I was 19 years old and still going to college. A baby just changes everything. Thomas did the most honourable thing, things that most boys that knock up their girlfriends don't. He asked me to marry me…" she looked at Thomas, sorrowful.

"He had promised to take care of me and make this work so I could have the baby and he promised to threat her like his own child. It was easy to give in on that, I didn't gave it a thought, I had, my relationship with Riley's father always had been complicated and I ran from that, took the easy way out. So Thomas and I got married, he always said that he loves me enough for the both of us but I realized that this is just not possible!" tears welled up in her eyes. "I wanted it to work out and he had done everything to make it work. When there were complications he had been there for me and he had been a loving husband. He'd been really sweet all the nine month through until Riley was born. He was at the hospital with me, saw her being born, in many ways he's her father as Logan is…" she turned around, saw into Logan's eyes, tried to apologize for the hurt he must feel now. She saw it, the tears, his expressions and she let out a sob, turned back to the judge, she had started with this, now she had to finish it, she had to tell them everything…


	28. Chapter 28

Oiiii I'm sorry, I haven't updated yesterday at all, but somehow I just wasn't able to find a start with this chapter, but today it worked and it became a long one!

Thanks again for the wonderful reviews, you guys are amazing!

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Chapter 27: 

"There were lots of times were I imagined my life to be perfect, I told myself and it's what I wanted to believe but I couldn't betray myself because I wasn't truly happy. I always missed the man I couldn't be with because of my own stupidity. I was afraid of telling him about Riley, that he has a daughter, I was afraid of even seeing him again because he has the might to break me and I was so close to breaking. When I left Neptune years ago it was because I just couldn't handle things anymore, it was too much, the realization that Lilly was gone forever even though I've found the man who had done it. How much I've have lost over the time, because of Lilly's death and my mother leaving again, it just was too much…" tears were falling down her cheeks, her hands pulled into fists so the white knuckles were seen, cutting herself with her own nails.

"I never loved Thomas, he was a friend, nothing more, we rarely kissed, we never had sex!" she almost choked it out biting her lips. She didn't dare to look into anyone's eyes.

Thomas quipped in: "Does she really have to tell all this, don't you see how painful it is for her?" He felt sorry for her, for so many things: "I tell you what I've done, how it started, you shouldn't put her through this, I made her suffer enough!" His outburst surprised everyone!

The judge thought it over, looking at the small women who was obviously fighting against her falling tears and then looking at the man that was accused of abuse. He really seemed like a good man as the woman had told and he obviously cared. "Okay but if he tells anything wrong you will disrupt him, understood?" she looked at Veronica who nodded. Then the judge looked over to Thomas: "So please tell us what you have done!"

Thomas swallowed: "I remember the first time…" Veronica flinched thinking back to the exact same time. "I came home from work, frustrated as no matter how hard I worked there didn't seem to be enough money for the three of us and we had some serious money problems which Veronica knew about. Anyway when I came home she was in the living room with Riley, they watched some TV. It was a film in which Aaron Echolls starred in and his son Logan. I wasn't stupid, I knew who Riley's true father was, I have been with her when Logan had visited her in LA and I knew that they had a history. When I saw her watching him on the screen with tears in her eyes, obviously hurt, I felt the anger against him the first time. But then I saw small Logan Echolls and small Riley and they just, she looks so much like him, in many ways and that hurt. I really loved that girl as she was my own, I told myself that she is because I was there, I saw her being born but that day I saw it rubbed in my face that she isn't." he paused looking at Veronica, his lips trembling.

"That was the one and only time when I hurt her without being drunk. I have…" he stopped talking, he didn't want her to relieve the things he had done to her. But he knew she did, she was sitting there with her eyes closed, tears searching their way out of under her eyelids: "I am so sorry Veronica!" he managed to say and shook his head. As he didn't seem to go on Veronica did.

"He had approached me, taken my hand and made me follow him. I have seen the anger in his eyes and could only assume that it was because of me watching that film… He, he led me into our bedroom, he closed the door, locked it, that was when I started to feel uneasy, I backed away from him…" she took a deep breath. "He had said that it was time that we remember what a marriage means, and that I have to fulfil my part too. I did, I slept with him, he didn't force me all the way but he knew I didn't want to and he wasn't tender, he had been rough and kind of…" she swallowed: "marked me." After she said that she heard some chairs and murmurs from behind her, when she turned away she saw that Logan was on his way to approach them, Duncan tried to hold him back.

Logan wasangry and overwhelmed by the things he had heard only seconds ago and stormed into the front of the courtroom, officers following him instantly.

Before he even reached the front of the courtroom Keith caught him, stopped him: "Sit down!" he ordered the young man in a stern voice. Logan did want to say something but he realized that it wouldn't help at all and so he sat down, looking directly in Veronica's eyes, his heart shattering into thousend little pieces. He had been so relieved when she had said that they never had sex, he knew that to feel that way was stupid, idiotic, but he couldn't help it. When she then told that he had forced her to have sex and that he hadn't even been gentle and caring, it made him furious but then again it hurt his ego as well as Veronica had let him. He was confused, all this different feelings that changed in the matter of seconds, it drained him...

After the room got silent again Thomas went on: "When the anger faded and she was lying next to me crying I realized what I've done and I left for a bar and got really drunk, and this started to become a habit, I was afraid of going home because I could catch her watching a film again or looking at pictures, I was afraid of loosing it if she does and do the same I have done the other night. So I stayed away, got drunk. If I got home then only because I was so drunk that I really didn't know what I was doing anymore. I never remembered hitting them, I only remember when I sobered up seing them beaten and bruised, it was like a vicious circle, I again felt guilty and again went to the bar to drink, came home to beat them up and so on, I tried a few times to stop, I even called some help but then again I was drunk and didn't feel like it was that necessary. When I was sobber I talked with Veronica about it, she tried to help me, no matter how hard I hit her, I guess she feels guilty as well..." now he looked at her, adressed her: "You don't have to be Veronica, marrying you was my decision, I knew that you don't love me, it was naive of me to think that you would ever forget him but still it was my decision, my decisions, my hands that have done the damage, you stop blaming yourself!" he ordered his voice shaken and desperate. "Stop blaming yourself!" he repeated.

Veronica starred at him: "How could I, I let you hurt her, she was so small and didn't understand and you hit her and I let you!" she wispered, she felt like it was only him and here now.

Thomas shook his head: "No Veronica, you never just let me do these things, you always tried to protect her but she did the same, whenever she heard you cry she came out of wherever you have hidden her just like the last night, she came and she probably knew what will happen, she knew that I will stop hurt you!"

Veronica started to sob: "Whenever she was around you stopped hurting me but I should have been the one. She was little Thomas, she didn't really understand, she didn't know that I deserved it!"

With that Thomas jumped up angry for her being so stubborn: "Veronica you didn't deserve this, neither did Riley!" he screams at her. This takes her by surprise but she realized that he meant it. "You mean you don't blame me for not loving you the way I should have?" she asks low and Thomas shakes his head, telling her he don't.

"I never expected you to!" he admits and looks at her: "I am sorry that I couldn't stop, I am sorry I broke my promise but I want you to know that I am better now, I haven't drunken since that night and I've got myself help, I am going to be okay with everything that they will order me to do todayas I really deserve it! But I need to know that you are okay first. I need to know that you're happy now!"

Everyone in the room was quiet, their attention drawn to Veronica, awaiting her answer.

I am evil again, sooooo sorry for the cliffhanger rofl


	29. Chapter 29

Thanks for your wonderful reviews, more at the end of this chapter...

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Chapter 28:

Logan sat next to Duncan, he was incredible calm which made Duncan worry about his friend. Logan never was this calm, never had been, he wasn't the type to just sit there and listen but that's what he was doing and he listened carefully.

'I was right, she's punishing herself, she thinks she's responsible for HIS actions!' he thought bitterly. It made it easier to understand why she had been defending her husband against him. But the words she had said, had hurt him nevertheless. How could she name another man Riley's father, he wasn't, he hadn't been part of creating that little beautiful girl. She wasn't his blood and he wasn't supposed to be her father, but he couldn't really blame Thomas for trying to be but for failing. 'Yeah Thomas had failed!' That thought somehow soothed him and sitting in that courtroom, listening to their story, to what has happened to Veronica these past four years, he started realizing that blaming anyone for things that already have happened didn't help, living in the past, missing the time he wasn't able to spend with his daughter, that he hadn't been able to protect her and Veronica; it occupied him, it consumed him…

Now that Thomas was asking Veronica if she's happy now, he realized that what really mattered was the future, the time he was able to spend with them, if he didn't screw up again. If he'd stay this time and try whatever he had to so they would stay with him, forever! That's what he wanted and suddenly his heart started bumping flutteringly.

Still everyone was waiting for Veronica's answer who didn't answer, she was biting her lip, not knowing what to say. Was she happy now? She didn't even know what will come, she was too afraid to think of the future having experienced what it might bring. She was no longer naïf, she had left that part of herself behind when Lilly died. But now she was a hurt and insecure young mother who didn't only have to take care of herself but of her daughter as well. She knew Riley's answer would have been a no. She would want her Mommy back with her Daddy in the big house. She had told her that when she'd been visiting her the day before and it had brought tears to her eyes. But Veronica had seen Logan's hurt glance when she had said that Thomas was Riley's father and as she knew her Logan the problems have only begun now. She was sure he wouldn't forgive her that so easily. And the thing was, that only he could really make her happy, the days they had spent together, as a family, that was what made her happy. Being a family was what had made her little girl laughing and talking like a normal four year old, which had brought more happiness to Veronica than she had ever imagined to experience. Seeing Riley laugh, giggle, seeing Logan wearing the exact same expression on his face, the laughing sparkling eyes…

The judge brought her back to reality: "Ms. Arlington, would you mind answering this question?" Veronica looked up at her, shaking her head: "I don't know the answer, I don't know what the future brings…" she looked at Thomas. "It's not easy to sort this mess, I've done mistakes, I should have never kept Riley my secret, I should have told her father right away and I don't think that…"

Logan had listened to her, not liking what she was saying: "Veronica!" he said, loud enough for everyone to hear it. The judge didn't mind, this was more than just a trial she had realized, it was a way for them to work out their issues and she wouldn't be the one to stop them from doing it.

Veronica had stopped in the middle of her sentence and turned around, surprised about how Logan was looking at her. There wasn't anger, there wasn't the hurt, there was… Love!

He approached the front part of the courtroom and after receiving a nod from the judge he entered. He only came to stop mere inches in front of her, kneeling down so he could look directly in her eyes. The blue pools that have followed every of his actions since he had called out her name.

Logan's heart was still bumping and he was nervous, especially as he realized in that moment, that about 50 people where in the room. He wished it would have been more private but now was the time, he had made a decision and he had to tell her right away, he had to know her answer!

He took his hands in hers: "I know we've never been the perfect couple and we've been going through pretty hard times and we're right now in the middle of something I didn't even imagine, experiencing but despite that, despite all this bad stuff there's happiness!" he looked at her, searched her eyes to at least find a small spark of… He didn't know what he was looking for until he found it, that small sparkle of hope, love and need to be loved.

More confident he went on: "There's happiness and call it Riley or family or whatever, we were happy these past few days, we do work out and I will prove you again every day if you…" he took a deep breath: "Marry me?" it was a whisper so she was the only one to hear it. "I don't have a ring, I don't, I haven't really planned this…" he confessed sheepishly when he didn't get an answer right away. He wore that smile, that undefined smile which used to hide his real emotions but Veronica still saw him, the man she loved, she had never stopped loving but she was also taken by surprise and it took her some time to digest what he just had asked her, here in the courtroom of all places…

The tension in the room was incredible and even though no one had heard Logan's question, they knew what this was about and so they waited, for an answer, for a reaction out of Veronica.

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Somehow I managed to end this chapter right were I have ended the last one… Hope you like it, I haven't really been content with my last chapter and I am trying to put things right again, but I had a hard time writing this, somehow, I hope it gets better again, uhm really confused about everything and ahhh I don't know, I haven't felt pretty good these past days, kinda depressend and there's a lot going on right now so it took me kinda long to update, I am sorry for having you left with that horrible cliffhanger for so many days :( 


	30. Chapter 30

Epilogue:

Veronica had to smile, it was a genuine happy smile and the tears that have formed in her eyes weren't because she was sad. She looked over to Thomas: "I'd say yes, I am happy now!"

It was like a sigh of relief was going through the whole courtroom but Veronica didn't care, neither did she saw Thomas relieved and yet hurt reaction to her answer. All she was paying attention to was the man kneeling in front of her, looking at her questiongly, patiently.

"Logan Echolls this is a courtroom for God's sake!" she replied to his question trying to look at him in ernest but she failed miserably and her smile grew even wider while she nodded her head. "Yes!" she wispered leaving Logan speechless but grinning broadly. He took her in his arms, hold her tightly, kissing her in front of everyone when they suddenly were interupted by the hammer of the judge. But she was smiling while trying to get some peace and silence into her courtroom.

There still had been a lot of things to be sorted out and so Logan was going back to sit next to Duncan again. Veronica was watching him still smiling happily. That's what she had wished for all these years since she had found out that she was pregnant. She had always dreamt of him asking her to marry him but now here in the courtroom, it definetly was unexpected. Actually she never thought he'd really ask her, even after he found out about Riley. That he did was bringing out a happiness she would have never expected to feel, ever...

The trial went on, the judge decided, as proposed by Veronica's lawyer, that Thomas was going to attend a programm to get sobber as well as working 15 hours every week for a social programm until his probation officer as well as a psychologist were thinking that he'd be over the drinking problem and ready to face the world alone again.

Veronica was content with the result of the trial and Thomas seemed to be relieved as well. And Logan... He was just happy that he was able to take HIS soon-to-be-wife in his arms, kiss her and go home with her to get THEIR daughter to tell her the great news that they will be a family, a real family from now on!

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I am sorry this is such a short end, but I am not in the happy smiling, loving mood and so I guess writing something happy is just not working for me right now. I hope you understand and that with this small part the story at least has come to an end that you can be content with, at least I hope you can. Maybe when this bad time is over I am going to rewrite this chapter, add some happily ever after but right now, this is it! Sorry guys, you've been amazing and if it wouldn't be for you I would have never finished this story in the first place! Thanks a lot for all your support and the amazing amount of feedback! Rock On! 


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